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I am here for Networking

About Me


You'll only be working for me for a short time. You learn the ropes, pass the series seven, then you're on your own.
Always -- Be -- Closing. That's the attitude you need. Telling's not selling. Now there's two rules you need to know as a trainee. The rest will come later. Number one, we do not pitch the bitch here. We don't sell stock to women. I don't care who it is, we don't do it. I'm serious. Nancy Sinatra calls, you tell her you're sorry. They're a constant pain in the ass and never worth the trouble. They will call you every fucking day asking you why the stock is dropping. And God forbid the stock should go up you'll hear from them every fifteen minutes.
Second rule. Don't write wood. A lot of trainees are so anxious to get off the phone they just steamroll the guy into getting the press pack so they can hang up. Then I call in a month and say, Hi, you spoke to a junior associate of mine last month. The guy's like, Yeah, I'm not interested. Bye. That's a shitty lead. It's fucking wood. The info we send is bullshit. The important part of the call is telling them you have that one great idea, and that a broker is going to call them back in a month. This shows that we don't just fire a million recos a day. We tell them we have six or seven great ideas a year! They don't want to think you're pitching them something you read in the journal this morning. Get it? No wood.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Whales!! Average client's forty-five years old, from the Midwest, two hundred and fifty thousand dollar annual income, three million net. Has a local broker, but loves a New York guy who sounds good on the phone. The card's not gonna tell you any of that. Only says their name, address and occupation. You gotta feel them out.
I hope these are better than the last batch of shit you gave me. You produce more wood than Ron Jeremy. For now you only have to remember one thing. You can be whoever you want on the phone. So say what you have to. Use a different name if you want. Tell them you're a vice- president here. Just get them on the line. That's the first step. It's the hardest part sometimes, but just get the cocksucker on the line.
You have to understand. These are not the kids you and I grew up with. Remember in Hebrew school when a shoving match was a big deal? Worst case scenario, someone's yarmulka got knocked off. These guys are no joke. They get tanked up, throw a quick fist. And then some of them actually like it. Like Richie. He probably thought I was being tough back there, just staring at that guy. I was shitting my pants. Those fucking Guineas, half of them do coke. They all drink. No stability, zero capital. They make all this money and they're always living three steps ahead. Do you know there are guys in this firm that make close to a million a year and couldn't get a loan for a Honda because their credit is so bad. Everyone's just waiting for the fifteenth of the month. It's like they may drive a Porsche but they don't have ten bucks to put in the gas tank.

My Blog

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