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Reshi

About Me


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I watched the proverbial sunrise Coming up over the Pacific and You might think I'm losing my mind, But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am 'cause then you'll see my heart In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it. See that line. Well I never should have crossed it. Stop right there. Well I never should have said That it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again 'cause who I am hates who I've been. Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps Synching up to the beating of my heart, And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again 'cause then you'll see my heart In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.
Who I am hates who I've been And who I am will take the second chance you gave me. Who I am hates who I've been 'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became. So sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again 'cause who I am hates who I've been. Who I am hates who I've been
In a bout of blazing inspiration, I have decided to give a thought or two about my about me. Because I am still unnaturally lazy, I will not be writing this all at one time. So for awhile, you will only have a glimpse, a brief synopsis of shannon
(thats me)
I was born in good ol' ghetto Richmond VA, but lived there only a scarce week or two with my cousin. Instead, i have grown up, and still live, in Farmville VA.
Yes, farmville.
Its a tiny little podunk town in the heart of virginia, and really its not all that bad. We have two colleges around (one crappy hosptial) and get alot of newyorker riff-raff cause of green front (dont ask, not that important) so we have quite a few people really, they just only show up a semester at a time.
I persoanally like the whole deserted ghost town feel we got goin' on. keeps people in their crummy homes and hotels.
I live in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere surrounded by my red-neck family of which i am just starting to be not quite so ashamed of.
Baby steps...
I have two wonderful brothers and one amazing cousin who has always been a big sister to me, and the best friend anyone could ever have, ever. My Kristenn<3. Shes the flame to my marshmellow XD
...
One brother, christopher, is married to a wonderful woman and would like to become a missionary to Africa. Crazy i know, but I still love him ^^ Patrick (my eldest brother) is a Marine, and my hero,They both are really, they raised me, took care of me (and still do) and i am so grateful for them.
I spose my folks did a fair share of all that too.
I spose.
I have also, by some miracle, accumulated a few absolutely stunning friends, all completely beautiful and talented and oh-so-shelf worthy, each and every one of em. I am, by no means, a jar of sunshine .V. but some how these people make everything work, I dont think you should trust stunning, brilliant people who'd be friends with me. They know who they are; some think theyre who im talkin' about, but their really not
.V.
This section is dedicated to a few people that have been immensely detremental to my wanna die attitude, they are ever so special and dear to my heart. Jodyn Bynum has been my everything since... oh, like 6th, 7th grade? the worst years of our life, and we got through that, and weve been hit by all kinds of different flamming darts in our life, and together, We knew we could make it, and i know, that on many occations, maybe even last night, My life could be over without her, so <3 shes my best friend. just friends btw, we dont Swang that way. XD but really, I think my fingers would be smushed to a bloody pulp trying to get you people to understand how amazing she is, and how that, if you dont have a jordyn in YOUR life, you really arent living.
Someone else that has always stood beside me no matter what the problem may be, whether i was wrong or right, this chick always had my back, and always will. My gangster, my Alicia! Everyone knows alicia. We all know how beastly she is, so you can just imagine how awesome shes made my life from all the alicia-exposure ive been through. And though we had a rough start, we'll always love eachother, and be there for one another, shes priceless.
Kaitlin O'Brien may be one of the strongest people I know. She never lets someone see her weakness, never lets them know shes vulnerable, never backs down, and always fights for what she knows she wants and she deserves it. Thats rare, and thats amazing. One top of all that, she deals with so much stuff that none of us can really realize or appreciate cause shed never let us know she has trouble doing anything- except for maybe in math. Shes been a great friend, and shes one of the only poeple i know i can be myself with. irreplaceable.
Alot of weird crap has happend in my life, ive met alot of strange people that, though I knew them for but a short time, undoubtedly changed me forever. My parents have divorced and evolved into two differnt people than the mum and dad I knew when I was a child, my family has mutated into something i barely recognize and every search for self-identity ive ever journied has been fruitless.
Only one thing has kept me alive, and given me purpose
and as silly as it sounds to most
That thing isnt a person, a job, or some weird "calling"
Its God.
It is hard for me to claim christianity because so many definitions and stereo types go with it and Im not a very good example of any of those stereo types. But one thing i can claim is God himself, and I do proudly.
A peace beyond understanding, and the knowlege to heal the sick and dying, the cripple, save the lost, raise the dead, and be so freaking happy as every round is fired off from satan in our direction. My biggest problem is the being happy, i dont take things well, but I dont take them lightly either. God is my identity, and im damn proud of it.
>.>
I promise im much more interesting than i let on to be, more good looking and charming too, i swear XD Im just too lazy to show you :p im a libra you see. Really the rest of the getting to know me is up to you folk, im out. ....<3?
P.S. One thing I feel everyone should know about me: I like metting everyone. ever. i dont care if you dont like one of my friends or something about me just puts you on edge, i like knowing people, I WANT TO MEET YOU! kthxbai ^_^
So far in '09
1. Have you had a relationship this year?
I am. right now. I dont have much faith in it all, but im trying to realize that love is a decision, a commitment, and IM comitted, I just have to pray he is too.
2. Met someone special?
not that I recall... but i did get to see the man that i have an un-natural passion for at the lock-in ^^ hes so dreamy... so hot... so.... so... so! married ^^
3. Been to church?
ofcourse
4. Ever cried?
yeah, ofcourse. hell, im half crying over stuff right now. i think its how my body deals with stress ,_,
5. Been on a diet?
no. diets dont keep you healthy. you have to change your lifestyle, which i suck at doing >.> but im trying
6. Pulled an all nighter?
a few, for the dumbest reasons. and their wearing me down, though I thuroughly enjoyed these past nights woth jordyn, shes a nut.
7. Drank Starbucks?
no, but i ATE some starbucks choclate chai stuff. DELICIOUS
8. Went shopping?
yeah! and it was FUNN. i love shopping with jordie, alicia and marva. they are so chill.
9. Went Camping?
Nah, our family doesnt love eachother enough anymore to do that stuff. thank god.
10. Been to the beach?
eww no.
11. Bought something for over $200?
My way to mexico..
12. Have you had your birthday yet?
nope. and i can wait. im in no hurry.
13. Been out of state?
mhm, to say bye to patty ._.
14. Gone Snowboarding?
ohhh, no
15. What are you thinking?
IM thinking that Im sick to my stomach, but i have to be strong, cause I HAVE to see something through. forreal. yeah, that all makes NO sense unless you are, in fact, in my head.
Have you...
1. Hugged someone?
I don't hug, I get hugged. Unless its alicia, she rocks me.
2. Slept in someone elses bed?
JORDYN.
6. Loaned out money?
i used to do it everyday at lunch.. but not any more... i kinda miss CHS -_-
7. Gotten a car?
nope, seeing as everyone wants to almost die in car-crashes, i have no want to go out and start driving.
8. Gone over your cell phone bill?
well, it been out of service for some time now... many a people want me to fix that but... no.
9. Been called a whore?
Only by myself.
10. Drove somewhere?
heh, no one wants that
11. Done something you regret?
heh, lets just say that regrets are a hobby of mine
Lasts...
Last thing you bought?
:D these tu-tu things from hottopic (havent been in that crap hole in forEVER) alot of really kinky shoes ^______^ and some awesome shirt. its yellow<33333
Last time you took a shower?
a few hours ago
When was the last time you felt stupid?
in chemistry lolol, that class is designed to make me cristina dakota and kaitlin feel like morons. and to exalt maria and jesses freak-brains.
Who did you last yell at?
my camera, poor baby cant help it that im so blurry sometimes.
What did you do today?
Crap. i pretended to care about stuff, watched a movie that i didnt like very much, had a horrible time in chem >.> and forgot my one article of enjoyment. not to mention i learned some stuff that makes me sick to my stomach. when will i ever be special?
yesterday?
HAPPINESS
Eye color:
Grey/blue, sometimes green o.O
Height:
5 '6???
Pets:
T.T ittybitty and mouse...br />
Mood:
Lonely and bored and sick and angry and over all pretty crappy.
Where would you rather be?
a pool ^^ i remember going to pools with kristenn on days like these.
Last thing you drank?
Ice cold pepsi -drools-
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:
01. Have you ever been in love?
you dont get IN love, you decide to love, and i have. maybe its a mistake, most things are, but i want a chance, just to try.
02. Do you believe in love?
The REAL questio is, do you beilieve in LIFE after LOVE? after love, after love...?
03. Why did your LAST relationship fail.
the real question is why did it LAST so long?!?!?!
04. Have you ever been heartbroken:
YES
05. Have you ever broken someone's heart:
i doubt it. im not that... special.
06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend?
nope nope, never been that close to any of my guys, and therein lies the problem
07. Have you ever liked someone but never told them:
psssyahhh
08. Are you afraid of commitment?
I think on some level we all are, we just get over at different times.
and I have no idea what that means
09. Would you ever date any of your exes again?
If i do, i urge someone to behead me. **UPDATE** someone, please behead me.
5 EMOTIONS
02. Are you happy?
In christ. on my own? no way.
03. Are you talking to anyone right now?
does myself count?
04. Are you eating anything?
nope, no more food for me... ever
05. Do you like someone right now?
oh yeah, quizilla told me so! XD
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Leslie, Shannon Leslie.
Birthday: Sept. 30th, Libra babeh!
Birthplace: Richmond VA nigga.
Current Location: Farmvegas!
Eye Color: Grey/blue and sometimes Green.
Hair Color: RED. red in all shades and colours, all natural too, its like a blessing and a curse, on the plus side, i get lots of attention and then i get lots of attention, therefore its hard to get way with stuff.
Height: 5 and some change. im pretty much average there. no where else though ;p
Right Handed or Left Handed: im a righty.
Your Heritage: yikes. well, mostly Scotch/Irish, some hungarian, whelsh, cherokee indian, and ive head french canadian and german too but im not sure if I want to believe that
The Shoes You Wore Today: I wore my lil black flats and i did prance around in my hot pink pumps <333
Your Weakness: I am magnificant, I have no weakness.
Your Fears: BEETLES. oh and clowns. heights too kinda.. and lots of other stuff!
Your Perfect Pizza: extra cheese, black olives and green peppers ^^
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To find someone who completes me. im terribly lonely.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: i dunno. i dont use AIM so much anymore.
Thoughts First Waking Up: ....that was a dream???? D:
Your Best Physical Feature: i dunno. i have really nice legs. alot of poeple like my hair and eyes, and uh, *ahem* other things that need no explanation.
Your Bedtime: man, i am so tired all the time. every time is my bed-time as far as im concerned.
Your Most Missed Memory: me jordie and alicia stayin up playing FFCC and drinkin' Ice tea ^^
Pepsi or Coke: i like both but just to represent, COKE! the soda of harry dresden <3
MacDonalds or Burger King: lol, BK! the burger place of Harry Dresden
Single or Group Dates: Id just like A date for harry's sake.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: arizona green tea!
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee, be forreal.
Do you Smoke: nope.
Do you Swear: ah, i do i do. I try not to though, i think it makes girls come off as cheap when they curse alot, so i try not to.
Do you Sing: ahhha, yeah, not well mind you, but that doesnt stop me. ^^ I polute EVERYONES air-space. or as kaitlin would say, "ear rape"
Do you Shower Daily: mhm
Have you Been in Love: thats the fourty-five billion question, aint it? I think I have, well I KNOW i have a long time ago, and im pretty sure i was in love with my ex, i may still be, I hope not though, cause that would make the whole him in love with someone else much harder than it needs to be.
Do you want to go to College: i do.
Do you want to get Married: I would like too, i really would. but i dont think i ever will.
Do you belive in yourself: not particularly, i know myself, and i know im one of the best friends and lovers anyone could get, i just dont know how to aply myself to all that
Do you get Motion Sickness: nope.
Do you think you are Attractive: meh. I think poeple think im more attractive than i really am. im like, over-rated or something like that, cause im really not that pretty.
Are you a Health Freak: not at all
Do you get along with your Parents: more or less. less at times
Do you like Thunderstorms: LOVE thunderstorms
Do you play an Instrument: air guitar and didgeridoo. lolz
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: nope, i have no desire to hear about my actions from 479 different people and not be able to remember any of it
In the past month have you Smoked: nope, i rather not have my face turn to leather and my voice sound like a cat being thrown into a wood chipper.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nope.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: psssh. nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: YES! yesterday <333 I had the most ridiculous time with some crazy black lady. it was great.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: XD i wish i had some oreos!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: i wish
In the past month have you been on Stage: nope.
In the past month have you been Dumped: ^^ i dont get dumped. i do the dumping, which actually really sucks. cause i can never make up my mind if thats what i really wanted to do, and then its too late, ya know?
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: i was in one of those moods last night....
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: psssh i dont need to.
Ever been Drunk: mhm
Ever been called a Tease: all the time ;p
Ever been Beaten up: HA. as if.
Ever Shoplifted: dont need to.
How do you want to Die: well that was a quick step to the morbid :D i either want to go out in a blaze of gore and blood or peacfully. lol, nothing in-between
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: an ooomploompa biotch.
What country would you most like to Visit: ireland ofcourse!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: i like em all.
Favourite Hair Color: I really really like brown and black, brown the most though. not that dirty blonde jank, shu ;p
Short or Long Hair: depends on who its on ya know? but i like long ^^
Height: taller than me
Weight: i dont really care, as long as their healthy ya know?
Best Clothing Style: lol, as long as their not "5 popped collars cool" than i dont care. oh, and plz to have no boxers showing kthxbai
Number of Drugs I have taken: 1? XD hardcore right here baby
Number of CDs I own: 8765437654578765478658567897654567865678
Number of Piercings: zaher-a-oh I like it on guys, but i dont like holes being made in my body that arent supposed to be there.
Number of Tattoos: none. blach. have fun with sexy tattoo when you get to be 45 and flabby babe. know what im saying?
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Regrets are a hobby of mine, love.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The purple shirted eye stabber.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

My Blog

Citizens Of Babylon

So this is real rough, just scribbled it down in an act of violent boredom in my American history class, blech, I'm very open to any suggestions.It's kind of a poem about the emotions that consume and...
Posted by on Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:55:00 GMT

King Dante' Joseph

Dante' Joseph, abandoned at fourteen years oldNever had much of a childhood or so Im toldThey had no moneyExcept for one currencyHis mother had a bodyAnd a sense of urgenceySo unhealthy relationships ...
Posted by on Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:46:00 GMT

My Luck

So this is totally old. I wrote it liiiiike. . . the first day at C-land so, uh, keep that in mind ;p for im a little more free with my language than I usually am with my poetry. Feels weird to put "m...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:25:00 GMT

Heart Ties Frayed and Broken

You remind me of joys I once knewHappiness I felt years agoAnd every breath I breathe in youAnd when you laugh, my heart stopsAnd when you speak I come undoneAnd when you breathe my heart keeps its be...
Posted by on Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:09:00 GMT

Breathing Admiration

Staring from the outsideAlways looking for a way inHow can I be a part of you?How come we can't start over again?I want to help you and guide youThough I can hardly help myselfAdmiring every move you ...
Posted by on Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:15:00 GMT

Heavenly Canvas

My skin feels like cotton threads of porcelain,The colour of the first full moon Smells of citris and soap and of roses in full-bloomMy hair burns of fire and blood and apple skinsScented like earths ...
Posted by on Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:49:00 GMT

Muted Screams

First Your heart sinksThen your bones begin to burnYour aching stomach turnsThe starting of the painIts here to stay againYou finally did itIts what Ive been afraid ofA life void of your loveyou took ...
Posted by on Thu, 11 Jun 2009 00:28:00 GMT

Love Anima

Oh to love you till the heavens start to rain Till the stars fall from the sky Through every heartache and pain Through every desperate tear you cry Love you till the earth bleeds light Till the sky c...
Posted by on Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:52:00 GMT

Arioch

You walk the earth, your wings all new Flying and flitting and doing all the things angels do Until one day someone throws a stone Beat you down, Broke you up, cast you out on your own Tattered an...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:53:00 GMT

A Letter To St.Cyprian

What's out there to believe in? A kingdom of gold, A fiery pit of malice? What is human nature if not sin? Fight ourselves day and day again Stab each other in the back for our sick mortality A skin c...
Posted by on Sun, 02 Dec 2007 13:35:00 GMT