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REAL NIGGA TALK!!!!!!!!! (WROTE BY THE ONE N ONLY ME)Normally I would say my pain is my gain but fuck that my pain is my strain. It really hurts when the person you love the most has become a different host. From some it's expected but hear it is again like i always say you can't expect shit from nobody anyway. Should i cry or should i i try and be strong and deal with the hurt and wash away the pain. Nall to hell with crying it aint never did a damn thing for me . It ain't never brought bachk my happiness, or eased my pain, or stopped the rain from drowning out my good spirit. I'm living a life that not a damn person seem to understand. I'm trying to get by the best I can. Not living my life for me but for the best of other people who think they know best for me. But to them there only seeing less of me because there expected best of me ain't best to me. Shit for me is hard. And hell no everything ain't what it seem. My grass ain't been green for awhile. People always can tell me where i should be or where i shoulda been with my shoes. But if they had to walk in my shoes they wouldn't have a damn thing to say. whaen i was little I remember my mother telling me I didn't know who I was yet so she had to guide me.Well I been being guided for a long fucking time now and ain't a damn thing changed, I guess if I still followed then I would be what people wanted me to be. but I see it like this I'm to damn old for somebody to try and mold me. I know who I am And i know what i want and one day i will achieve the gold. All my fucking life I lived to please talk about benefits hell to me not a damn thing I done did this far has benefited me. But as long as other people was happy i was happy but damn that they gone have to find they own happiness just like i'm trying to find mine cuz i can't people please no more. I wanna be happy, I wanna have joy, I wanna be excepted as me not as somebody I'm trying to be. I go to work and made to go to school but damn that to I deal with that but the thought of coming back to this hell whole I call home hurts even worse they wonder why I isolate myself cuz I can do bad all by myself which is proven a known fact and i'm happier being alone then being with people trying to make me somebody's clone. I wanna go away far far away. If I was like a bird I would fly away. Go somewhere anywhere and start my life over from year 1 and maybe by this point in my life I can be proud of myself instead of sorry for myself but whats the point of me expressing myself to this paper when nothing is going to change. now you might think i'm out of range for this but it is what it is and what it is is what it's gone be. I know people don't always agree and think i'm to the lowest degree but all i'm trying to do is be me. Now I know everything I do aint good but shit i'm from the hood where everything is all good. Yeah i know i'm different from most thats why sometimes i wish i could just get ghost. What i want to do is a mystery hell i don't know what i want to be. Whateva i do i'ma be me. I'm out spoken and i hate that i can't have my freedom of speech because people think i don't know nothing so they gotta teach. One of these days people gone see the real me and if you not prepared you betta be cause all i'm gone be able to do is me. Hate me or love me. So right now I'm gone stop complaining cuz it is what it is but later that's what it's gone be. Real nigga talk!!!!!!!!
