BACK TO VHS

HI, MY NAME IS BOB AND AS YOU CAN TELL FROM MY SCREEN NAME, I WANT THE WORLD TO GO BACK TO WATCHING MOVIES ON VHS. DVD SUX! IT’S NOTHING MORE THAN COLD DIARRHEA ON A SILVER PLATTER. ONLY TRUE FILM FANS WATCH VHS. DVD IS FOR POSERS! LOOK AT ALL THE CRAP YOU GET WITH A DVD: STUPID SPECIAL FEATURES, GAY BEHIND-THE-SCENES, CRAP OUTTAKES, LIE FILLED BIOS, BOGUS DIRECTOR COMMENTARIES, GARBAGE TRAILERS, REALLY GAY MUSIC VIDEOS, MAKING OF TRASH, STUPID TRASHY GAY CRAP GARBAGE ISOLATED MUSIC TRACKS, THE LIST GOES ON! WHO NEEDS THIS STUFF? ANY TRUE FILM FAN KNOWS ALL THIS STUFF FROM CHECKING OUT THE INTERNET FILM FAN FORUMS!!! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JUST WATCHING THE MOVIE? EVER SINCE DVD CAME ON TO THE SCENE, VHS HAS ALL BUT DISAPPEARED. HOW ARE THE CHILDREN OF TOMORROW GOING TO KNOW ABOUT THE COOLNESS OF VHS IF THEY CAN’T FIND THEM? THE LOCAL MOM & POP VIDEO RENTAL STORE (WITH VHS, BY THE WAY) DOWN MY BLOCK JUST CLOSED DOWN FOR GOOD. THIS IS HAPPENING ALL OVER AMERICA IN SMALL TOWNS JUST LIKE MINE & YOURS. LUCKILY MOM LET ME BUY A WHOLE BUNCH OF BITCHIN VHS’S TO SAVE THEM FROM THE STORE JUST TRASHING THEM. I HAVE NOW COMPLETED MY DARK WING DUCK COLLECTION ON VHS! MY POLICE ACADEMY COLLECTION ON VHS! MY FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL ON VHS! AND MY PRIZED POSSESSION ON VHS “DEMONWARP”! THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE, AND IT’S NOT EVEN ON DVD! WHAT A GREAT SCORE. BUT THE FACT IS VHS STORES ARE DYING OUT AND THIS IS SAD. WHO IS BEHIND IT? IT’S THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR DVD. THEY ARE TAKING AWAY YOUR CHOICE AS A FILM FAN. THEY WANT YOU TO BUY THEIR STUFF, NOT THE STUFF YOU WANT TO BUY, WHICH BETTER BE VHS! EVERY NIGHT AFTER I FINISH RUBBING MOM’S FEET WE SIT DOWN TOGETHER AND WATCH A GREAT FILM ON VHS! TONIGHT IT IS THE DISNEY CLASSIC “THE BOATNICKS”. MOM WANTS TO WATCH NEWSIES BUT I WILL GET MY WAY, OR MAYBE WE WILL WATCH BOTH. THAT WOULD BE GREAT! MY FRIEND AND I HAVE STARTED AN “I LOVE VHS” CLUB. WE HAVE T-SHIRTS THAT SAY “I LOVE VHS” AND WE STAY UP ALL NIGHT ON FRIDAYS WATCHING VHS AND DRINKING MOUNTAIN DEW. DVD CAN’T GIVE YOU THAT MUCH FUN! I FEEL SORRY FOR PEOPLE WHO WATCH DVD. AFTER THEY HAVE WATCHED THE MOVIE, THE COMMENTARY TRACK, AND NOT-SO SPECIAL FEATURES THEY HAVE WASTED 6 TO 8 HOURS ON ONE FILM WHEN THEY COULD HAVE WATCHED ALL 3 STAR WARS MOVIES (THE FIRST THREE, THE ONLY THREE) ON VHS! IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY, THEN JOIN ME IN MY FIGHT TO RID THE WORLD OF DVD! AND THE SAME THING GOES FOR CD'S!
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