Weekly Entertainment: Chuck Norris FactsChuck Norris knows the meaning of every word in the dictionary - except mercy.Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
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