Mark Ness

My name is Mark Ness and I am the bi-product of interracial love making. My mother prominently white, and my father prominently whiter. They met at a mixed singles albino speed dating conference in Salt Lake city back in March of 1984. After a fun-filled night of drinking non-alcoholic daiquiris and playing cutthroat game of Shoots and Ladders they decided to retreat to my father's room so that he could show off his extensive collection of Michael Bolton and Kenny G cassettes. Needless to say, my mother, normally a shy young lass, was quite impressed and decided that tonight was the night she would deflower this white guy she barely knows. 8 months later, I was born. So every time I take a survey or fill out an application the area for race is always a stumper for me because their is no check box for "whitest". Seriously, it's as if I was born with an imaginary fanny pack strapped to my waist.more to come ... time for band practice.