115656045

Hello,
I am here, look, up here in the top left hand corner. Yes, your left. Unless you are behind me that is in which case. MORE STEAM!
Welcome to my page. Please have a browse and feel free to try on any of my friends. If you do not find anything you like then I'm afraid you may be dead. Don't worry though you weren't liked and certainly won't be missed so you haven't broken any hearts.
Q. Who am I?
A. Hmmm...that's a toughie. Who are any of us? Oh, you are? Ok. Well, I never really think about who I am other than when I'm me so I feel confident that I can't answer that question. At least I do know who I am not.
Q. What do I do?
A. Ah, now that I can answer. I grow a beard.
So we've covered the basics. Good. We can now move on to more pressing issues.
BEARDS IN THE WORKPLACE.
Under new Health & Safety Law (Directive 6, Sub-category 4D, Paragraph 2) it is imperative that all non-beard wearing employee's wear a sign that says "Lady" on it so that we can ditinguish them for the male workforce.
Just last week Simon from Accounts strayed into a restricted zone and was struck by a felled tree resulting in him having to be rushed to hospital to have an emergency testosterone injection. Thankfully he has made a full recovery and is now sporting a thick carpet of "tree-chopping" manliness on his face. Should this thicket conform to the strict Health & Safety standards Simon will be transferred to Demolition with immediate effect so he can blow stuff up.
WARNING! Non compliance of this directive will result in the person or persons being subjected to a 30 minute wolf whistling barrage before being gang raped sarcastically behind the nearest out builing. Please note that our gang rape assembly point will be the slaughterhouse.
As a further precaution we will be installing the following hazard sign to warn all personnel that they are entering a prohibited area.