Space Pimp - ProfilesArchive

About Me

When I was a baby, I was rescued from the dumpster my momma left me in by a band of nomadic junkies. Later, I was sold into slavery for a fix where I learned the ancient art of jellyfish insemination. Everything is kind of a blur from there. Recently I was released from the mental hospital, and am currently formulating a plan for the sterilization of the entire human race. In the meantime, my spare time is occupied by seducing nuns, throwing sulfuric acid on random strangers, planting dog crap in interesting places for people to discover later, waking up in strange locations and compromising positions after alcoholic blackouts, eating the contents of medicine cabinets in the houses I break into, and being another damn computer geek and musician.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Your mother. I want to feed her roofies and take pictures of the bitch face down and kitty up with an assortment of farm animals in heat. She'd probably like that, though. Maybe I'll just force her to perform the Naked Pee Pee Dance. Nah, she'd like that too. Maybe I should kidnap her, beat on her for a while, and drop her off naked and handcuffed in front of a third-world brothel. What? You say she'd even enjoy that? Wow. Your mom's a stupid fucking whore, isn't she?

My Blog

To all bands...

I've been getting an assload of friend requests from bands lately, and I figure this needs to be said.Even though I enjoy the music aspect of this site, I consider MySpace to be a social networking to...
Posted by on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 23:11:00 GMT

Hit Reset, kick, and peel.

Psych! Anyone expecting a pissed-off rant will be disappointed. This is just a spur-of-the-moment personal revelation which transpired today.A gas main cracked open during some asphalt work being done...
Posted by on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 18:34:00 GMT

Catho-licks

I figured it out. I know how to drastically reduce the number of acts of molestation perpetrated by Catholic priests. It's really simple, actually.Altar boy blow-up dolls.Priests could get all that ...
Posted by on Sun, 02 Apr 2006 12:07:00 GMT

Jesus wept - the day my parents met!

For those of you out there who are wondering, "Pat, what's up with all the ranting about religion", this is for you. I came upon a blog that someone else posted (name withheld), and I felt like shoot...
Posted by on Thu, 05 Jan 2006 20:38:00 GMT

The blog of all blogs:

It ain't mine. I could never write something this funny. This is the most entertaining thing I've ever read on the web. I had to read the whole thing in one evening, giggling like a little bitch th...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Oct 2005 20:16:00 GMT

Unintelligent Designation

Jesus fucking Christ (pun intended) am I getting sick of the knuckle dragging flat-earthers pushing the "intelligent design" theory! I could blab forever about this, but I'm going to keep it down to ...
Posted by on Sun, 09 Oct 2005 16:31:00 GMT

The Top 8

Since we can manage our top eight slots on the Friends list, I just want to say that I don't want to hear any fucking whining from those who got knocked out of the previous positions they held. It's ...
Posted by on Sun, 09 Oct 2005 16:17:00 GMT

What do you call a Pollock who has a huge funeral?

The pope! This is a happy time for me, because you can never have too many dead popes. Also, before you start bashing me for picking on all those poor, repressed Catholics, understand that I hate ...
Posted by on Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:04:00 GMT