Vallory

I hate religion with a passion though many of my friends would call me "religious". I think religion is what kills the soul's desire to be free and interact with the amazing being that created this world. Religion is what keeps man's feet firmly on the ground and in bondage while their spirit screams and demands more from this life. I am a pleasure seeker at heart. I used to find pleasure in all sorts of things from women to booze to some crazy mushrooms and even overachieving in school. I found temporary fulfillment in all these things, but never deep satisfaction or peace. I experienced a continual yearning for more.
Interestingly, I have found that this desire to be happy and find contentment is infact a good thing and not the evil I once thought. You see, there is nothing inherently wrong with the desire, but the problem comes in the choice of the object in which we find that happiness. All of us are created with an inherent need to worship something and adore it more than our very selves. For some of us it is music, for others it is sports or fame or money or even a wife or husband. When we find this object, we cast all our affections towards it and it consumes our thoughts and emotions. We will make ourselves mad seeking it out and enjoying it. We will go without sleep, go without food if it will give more time enjoying that thing (think about all the long long phone conversations with that first love, or the two day bender you went on to keep the high).
The truth is that the ultimate pleasure in the universe comes in knowing God in a real way. The rapture of a real and deep relationship with a loving God moves me to dance at times and laugh out loud because it is so sweet. Jesus blows away any momentary happiness that I attained from my other pursuits, and he never wears off :).
So, I am still a pleasure seeker; I have simply found the ultimate pleasure. And being true to my nature I will not let go of Him, for in Him I find my very life. In fact, I have found that His promise to give a new life to anyone willing to lay down their own is as true today as it was 2000 years ago when it was penned. So I may seem crazy to some who look at my life of complete reckless abandon towards Jesus, but I consider everything I have lost in devoting my life to Him as junk compared with the indescribable joy I have today in knowing Jesus my Lord, my friend, and my Savior.