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Unheard There is a word that is trying to get out. SOMETIMES IT WHISPERS. Other times it will shout. Always always always It is trying to get out. I do not know what it is Or I would have said it by now. I know one time I saw it in the eyes of a cow Standing in a small field A fence between us Along a country road I was 20 at the time, riding a child’s bike She was chewing as I approached. She stopped as I pulled over. She looked up. I looked in. I saw that word. The one that’s been trying to get out. I didn’t know it then Although I had no doubt. I wrote an entire composition paper about making eye contact with that cow But I did not write that word The one that I have not said by now. There is a word that is trying to get out. I saw it once And that is all. I am still looking. It is still trying. Sometimes I stop looking But it never stops trying. Always always always It is trying to get out. I am not even sure what it’s in. For the longest time I thought it was in me, but I have done full cavity searches, Ceyonces, walked through metal detectors, gotten x-rays and MRI’s. I’ve fasted, I’ve binged, I’ve looked into my pupils in the mirror for hours at a time, I’ve spoken in tongues and in cheeks. But still nothing. I have no idea what to do. That word is still trying to get out. I can’t really even say “that” word because that implies I know which one it is. “The” word seems more accurate but it is still hidden even from itself. you may be thinking of a word. you might think it is “the” word. it might be on the tip of your tongue and you might want to belt it out but that really is the point. you can’t belt something out. belts hold things in and up. they don’t let them out. I’ve felt it on the tip of my tongue also. I’ve run frantic yelling in jumbled speech trying not to swallow it. “WHER A NEARA MIWWA? WHER A NEARA MIWWA?” when people know what I’m asking they usually just point. I run to the mirror and look at the tip of my tongue and still JUST CANNOT SEE IT! I curse! I kick things! I repent and apologize to the word for getting angry and for being impatient. It forgives me everytime. Without a word.