Ron profile picture

Ron

I am here for Friends

About Me

My wife made me do it.What else. let's see...I'm tall. Taller than YOU. Unless you're Scotty, I'm not as tall as Scotty but if I stand up straight I'm close. My wingspan is 7' and little extra.I'm no longer cooler than most of you and that's only because I'm way too old to be be cool. I'm 'cool,' as in 'Hey, that old dude at 7-11 was cool because he was humming "The Sex Pistols,"' that kind of cool. Ironically, most pop culture is totally lost on me, but if you say 'Mommy, can I go out and....' I'll yell back 'KILL TONIGHT?' Still, I'm old enough to really dig a martini or a Scotch and soda. I actually enjoy quiet weekends at home with my wife, taking the perro for walkies, catching an old (pre-1950's) movie and even humming the soundtrack to 'The Magnificent Seven' all weekend after catching that great movie when I'm not cooking. I shit you not. Sounds mundane? Au contraire.I'm happily married. Seriously. Not kidding, not joking. If'n you're some mad hot little devoshka that wants to show me your goodies, please clear it with mi esposa first because she maintains dominion over all.

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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The folks I'd like to meet are dead, except Robert Anton Wilson, and I doubt you're him. Possibly, William Jefferson Clinton so I can ask him "A cigar tube?! Bill, what the...?"

My Blog

Best. Job. Ever.

So many years ago, when I was feeling ind and gentle and giving, I volunteered at Tony LaRussa's Animal Rescue Foundation. You probably know it as ARF. At the time, Arf owned a home in Walnut Creek an...
Posted by on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 11:09:00 GMT

Everything seems to smell like Indian food

My boss took a couple of us out for lunch the the all-you-can-eat Indian buffet. I didn't go so far as to make a pig of myself, but I did enjoy some unpronouncable dishes and left the place feeling sa...
Posted by on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 14:58:00 GMT

"The biggest sex event on Earth"

"The biggest sex event on Earth by ZDNet's Roland Piquepaille -- Every year, and shortly after a full moon, billions of corals across a third of a million square kilometers of Australia's Great Barrie...
Posted by on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 10:23:00 GMT

Jeff Reagan, Private Investigator says:

"She had a mouth-full of good looking teeth but she never learned to use them."Now THAT'S hard-boiled, baby!
Posted by on Tue, 16 Oct 2007 20:36:00 GMT

What will be my tetrahedron?

R. Buckminster Fuller, "Bucky" to his pals, stood at the edge of lake Michigan, prepared to drown himself so that his wife could collect on his life insurance policy. At the final moment of truth, ...
Posted by on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 19:41:00 GMT

Saturday is Nap Day

So I have a playlist in my iTunes called Warm Saturdays and it consists of songs by Lambchop, Smog, Camera Obscura, Joile Holland, The Jazz Butcher, David J, Band of Horses, Cat Power, Paul Burch, an...
Posted by on Sat, 25 Aug 2007 01:18:00 GMT

Fookin ell

I've just seen Paul Simonon and Mick Jones on The Jools Show and I just had to say YEAH YEAH YEAH! Since as long as I can remember I've had Clash songs blaring in my head. Always, and I love it. Now, ...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Aug 2007 23:43:00 GMT

How kick-ass is this?

The Lovemakers are coming out with new shtuff and it shall be produced by... STEVE ALBINI!  This is the man that brought us the sounds that either took us to prison or moved us through under-grad...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Aug 2007 22:30:00 GMT

Action Andy and his Haunted Honky-Tonkers

Go! Run now! and download "Haunted Honkytonk!" This song kicks serious butt!
Posted by on Fri, 17 Aug 2007 09:47:00 GMT

Sesame Street Bus Driver

Have you heard about the man who got the job driving the bus for Sesame Street? He was really looking forward to meeting all the Sesame St. characters, and so he was filled with great anticipation his...
Posted by on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 21:33:00 GMT