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KR1S

About Me


It was Spring 1936. In the thick jungle of the South American continent, a renowned graphic design and expert on the occult studied fragments of a map, when one of the exploration party pulled a gun. The designer was I, Kris Wood. I pulled out my bullwhip and with such disarmed the turncoat, sending him running. Left only with my guide, we entered a dank and oppressively vast cave that contains several traps created by the ancient race which hid inside a famous handheld statue; I barely escaped the traps but I remained cornered by the native tribesmen served by Belloq, an old enemy who arrogantly made off with the statue, while I fled for my life and escaped on a friend's seaplane. Back in Whitley Bay, I was a graphic designer, where two agents from US Army intelligence told me of Nazi German activities in archeology, including a gigantic excavation site in Egypt - a site that an intercepted cable indicated to me the location of the Ark of the Covenant, the powerful chest bearing the Ten Commandments, that the Nazis could use to obliterate any enemy. I had to recruit a former girlfriend (the daughter of my old professor) and an old chum in Cairo to infiltrate the Nazi site and make off with the Ark, but along the way I got involved in a series of fights, chases, and traps, before the Nazis learned the full power of the Ark
Now that was a week to remember!!!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

The mighty Boosh lads, Banksy, Rachel Bilson (Summer from the OC), MR T. and the Hoff

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