Harbinger - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I lost my way a long time ago. I'm not sure how it happened or when but it did. I put on so many masks, tried to be so many different people, to so many different people that; that I couldn't remember who I was. I couldn't remember what parts of me were just roles I assumed for a host of different reasons & what parts were actually me. The one thing I did know was that I was alone, you can't let people in & show them who you are when you've forgotten yourself. I've come through a lot of dark places, & I've hurt or let down a lot of people. I've lost a great deal & but gained something in return. I know who I am now, at least to some degree. So no more running, no more masks, & no more twisting myself into someone else for any reason. This is me no apologies, no excuses, & no hiding. MyGen Profile Generator ..

My Interests

Sex Bondage Video Games Vodka Strip Clubs Horror Movies S & M Philosophy Religion The Occult Anything Black Anything Gothic

I'd like to meet:

I'm not a checklist kind of guy. Physical attraction for me isn't about any particular individual criteria, but more about how everything comes together. In addition looks are at most maybe ten percent, while personality is ninety percent. As for personality I'm not looking for this or that the dynamic is fluid with no set rules save perhaps two. First: I don't want to be around someone who will try & change who they are because they think I want them to be this that or the other. Second: I don't want to be around someone who will try to change who I am to make themselves more comfortable about hanging around me. I think both arise from people not being secure in who they are.

Music:

Marlyn Manson Rob Zombie Ozzy AC/DC Cranberries Soul Asylum Rage Against the Machine Nickel Back Pretty much anything Rock

Movies:

The Crow Movies Underworld 1 & 2 Last Samurai Gladiator Sin City Domino Brick Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children Lord of the Rings Trilogy Star Wars Movies

Television:

Firefly X- Files (before it sucked) Smallville (Lex Luthor rules) The Crow: stairway to heaven Angel (Spike rules) Buffy the Vampire Slayer The O.C. (I'm so ashamed!) Dark Angel (Jessica Alba mmm) Battlestar Galatica

Books:

(Manga) Blade of the Immortal X-1999 Vagabond (Anything By) Edward Lee Richard Laymon Sci-Fi Fantasy Horror

Heroes:

I don't believe in heroes. I've lost count of the knives I've pulled from my back. In the end you have to ask not what this person or that person would do; instead you need to ask what you want to do. & then find the courage to do it.

My Blog

Silent Change

Its amazing what you can grow accustomed to.Recently I had a reminder of just how shallow & judgemental people really are. What's intresting is that nothing that happened was anyway new or unexpec...
Posted by Harbinger on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 07:48:00 PST

Freedom

Recently I just threw away all my books on Wicca. It was a strange feeling letting go of a faith & not replacing it with something else. I've walked some very different paths religously speaking o...
Posted by Harbinger on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:59:00 PST

Slow Poison Love

Have you ever reached the point where you have to consider what your really holding onto. Whether what you hold onto, you hold onto out of self induced delusion, or if there really is something there....
Posted by Harbinger on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 03:01:00 PST

Illusion\Delusion

The lies we tell ourselves, do they bring us comfort? When illusion can't be seperated from reality & it becomes our delusions. Does the embraceimg of sublime madness, make us less cen...
Posted by Harbinger on Wed, 03 Jan 2007 10:23:00 PST

Fanatic

Here's a tid bit of personel information for you dear readers. Believe it or not once upon a time I was a raging religious fanatic; fire & brimestone, wrath of god, sanctimonious holier than...
Posted by Harbinger on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 05:40:00 PST

Destruction is Beautiful

I love destroying things especially when they're mine. I have to create something, anything or I go insane. I have to find some outlet for the energy or I just feel Like I have to scream. The reverse ...
Posted by Harbinger on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 08:20:00 PST

Solace of Slavery

Have you ever held onto something you didn't need. Something that you can't explain how it took root within your life, that you've carried around for so long you can't remember when you picked it...
Posted by Harbinger on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 10:34:00 PST

Back Again

It never ceases to amaze me how people think that they have the right to tell someone else how to live their life. I just got a letter from someone I thought I would never have to have anything to do ...
Posted by Harbinger on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 06:29:00 PST

Fear & Truth

Ever feel like you have to keep yourself hidden to keep some people in your life around you. As though if they were ever to see the real you they would run away or shut you out. Much as I try not to I...
Posted by Harbinger on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 07:07:00 PST

Hate

Have you ever noticed how people have to rail against those different from themselves. Almost as though by following a path other then their own, people somehow invalidate their own existince. I...
Posted by Harbinger on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 05:22:00 PST