11408164 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

ABOUT
Name: Jonathan Joseph Osman, Esq.
Birthday: 10/13/1891
Birthplace: Castro Valley, CA
Current Location: Rohnert Park, CA
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black/Brown
Height: 5'10''
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Egyptian, Irish, Portuguese
The Shoes You Wore Today: Ballin' ass ones
Your Weakness: Females.
Your Fears: Devyn
Your Perfect Pizza: Bacon, Beef, And Pepperoni, with BBQ sauce. Tis known as God.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Don't get laid.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Ok, FINE, then I'll take MY pants off.
Thoughts First Waking Up: Don't have a seizure, don't have a seizure, don't have a seizure...
Your Best Physical Feature: My big sexy everything.
Your Bedtime: 10 PM - 5 AM
Your Most Missed Memory: Elementary school
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonalds or Burger King: MacDonalds
Single or Group Dates: It's always a group date if I'm there. I just compel women to flock to me.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tea tastes like mud, and you're all fools for drinking it.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee. God I'm old...
Do you Smoke: No. I'm a wet blanket, draped over a stick in the mud.
Do you Swear: Heck yes
Do you Sing: Yes, in a gruff, Irish voice.
Do you Shower Daily: Sure do.
Have you Been in Love: No
Do you want to go to College: Clown college
Do you want to get Married: Yeah
Do you belive in yourself: Mostly
Do you get Motion Sickness: Not often
Do you think you are Attractive: The only thing that even compares to my beauty is my reflection.
Are you a Health Freak: Not especially, though I do wash my hands frequently.
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: Sure. Why not.
Do you play an Instrument: Bass Drum. And I rock that shit like there's no tomorrow.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Only if you buy me, a drannnnnnk.
In the past month have you Smoked: Need I reiterate?
In the past month have you been on Drugs: My life is ludicrous enough without the aid of drugs.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes, but it wasn't mine.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes, but in thirty days this answer will be invalid.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I certainly should have.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Actually, I ate sushi today, April 27th, 2007. Bad idea, December 12th, 2007.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Band concerts, for the wah.
In the past month have you been Dumped: That'd require certain specifications that I don't meet.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I know you're thinking about it.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I don't steal. I pillage.
Ever been Drunk: Nope
Ever been called a Tease: All the time.
Ever been Beaten up: Birdman kicked my ass.
Ever Shoplifted: I believe so, but it was something minuscule like gummy worms. Well, and money.
How do you want to Die: I want to have a sexy overdose.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A giant.
What country would you most like to Visit: I'd like to visit the U.S., merely because "visiting" implies I get to leave after a certain amount of time.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue
Favourite Hair Color: Probably blonde. Gotta love the Aryans.
Short or Long Hair: I can go either way.
Height: Shorter than I, or equal height.
Weight: Not too big. It's not being shallow, it's being realistic.
Best Clothing Style: The less chains and useless buckles, the better. Actually, the less clothing, the better.
Number of Drugs I have taken: 1 real, Countless virtual
Number of CDs I own: A shit-ton.
Number of Piercings: Nada
Number of Tattoos: See above.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: None.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS! The Sith Code:Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion I gain strength
Through strength I gain power
Through power I gain victory
Through victory my chains are broken
The Force shall set me free

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Someone on MySpace who can complete a sentence without using "lol."

My Blog

Pondering Over Pretzels

Only my phone confers things clearly.So, the base situation between Shiva and I is unfortunate for the fact that she lives 23 minutes away (according to Google Maps), in a completely different town. W...
Posted by on Thu, 21 May 2009 12:48:00 GMT

A Young Man Complains, Others Watch

Take me to my Zion and leave me be. We are a planet of human beings. I am the human failure. Before I'm slathered with "Jon, shut the fuck up. We all know you're just trying to get attention" let me...
Posted by on Mon, 04 May 2009 21:41:00 GMT

I am my own beast of burden.

I only fight windmills when I know I can best them in a game of wits.This is so awkward. It's like meeting an old friend after a very long time with no intermittent contact. I don't know what to say, ...
Posted by on Thu, 26 Mar 2009 20:10:00 GMT

Not Unlike Seppuku

This might be of substance.Though I guarantee nothing.I've neglected writing anything in my blog for quite some time, though I can't pinpoint exactly why. It might be because I feared I'd use my entir...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:57:00 GMT

A Crowd Can Only Question Cries

And I so hoped they had aborted this blemish on society. Sigh. So much has happened since I last penned anything blog-specific in here. Over a month, in fact. Terrible. Alright, so althou...
Posted by on Mon, 22 Dec 2008 23:08:00 GMT

Laid In Golden Framework

So this is my essay for accounting. Our prompt was "How I Would Solve The Financial Crisis." I think I won. The only thing I left out was slavery. We definitely need more slavery.America's Financial C...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:25:00 GMT

Youre going to be mildly pleased if you click on this.

[Foreword]This was the private blog that I had originally posted on Tuesday, but now that everything has been dealt with, there's no reason to not release it for public viewing.Plus, now I don't have ...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:30:00 GMT

The Jon Down in the Valleyo

I disdain blueprints.So today Ms. Fuhs, that woman of all my desires, passed back one of our essays, along with our writing portfolios, and asked us to write a reflection based upon how we've improved...
Posted by on Tue, 11 Nov 2008 07:38:00 GMT

A Return to Poor Form

I wrote an ode.Format inspired by "Antigone", content inspired by "Life".Oh pain! how the winds of Life do toss and turn you around,Carelessly placing you into the laps of whoever.Such reckless abando...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Oct 2008 04:51:00 GMT

Carl Will Back Me Up On This

Dia duit, tá mé Seán, and it's nice to meet you all.There's no point in recounting last night's activities here, because most of you already know them. I might as well just pack up and go home now.I t...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Oct 2008 03:16:00 GMT