REASONS TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING...
Stories about lame celebs doing really stupid things and the publicists who insist that they're all lies...
Random text messages make me smile
Saturday sandwiches
Good hearty shits
Hugs
THINGS I RULE AT...
Grand gestures of romance.
Being clever.
Being lazy...
Burping the loudest
Being inappropriate.
Laughing at my own jokes...usually while you look at me like I'm crazy.
Embracing vulnerability.
Snuggling during a movie.
THINGS I COULD LIVE WITHOUT...
Police brutality
Racism
Constipation
Farting in bed
Celebutants who "work hard" and insist that we don't know how hard it is to be them while we go to work at 5am...grrr...
People magazine
Cheap toilet paper
Fake handbags
Cancer
I'd like to meet:
Someone who will catch me a delicious bass and build me a cake.
Really slow jaywalkers
Ugly skanky girls who have 20 myspace pics of themselves posed on or around their bed. Yeah you bitch. Stop stalking and go to Jenny Craig.
Blowout boys who call me babe.
People who take pictures of their "movements" and send them to me so I can look them when I'm trying to eat.
Ugly people who think they're blazin
People with 302,326 friends who have nothing to live for except their lame internet "life" and have no intention of even talking to me
People who want to post flyers of their parties all over my page
Girls who get drunk and...
A) get really emotional and start crying over anything
B) have an overwhelming need to say I love you to everybody they've ever met
C) constantly scream woohoo!!!
D) scream OMG I'M WAAAAAAAAAAAAASTEDDDDDDDD HAHAHAHAHA!!! and then puke on themselves.
Music:
Punk,
hardcore,
traditional ska
rockabilly,
psychobilly,
rap,
gospel,
jazz,
blues,
classical.I guess anything that people who live in trailers don't like.
Movies:
I love movies. I love paying $10 to sit in an uncomfortable seat for 2 hours while eating popcorn with extra butter topping and lots of salt. I go to the movies strictly for the popcorn. Otherwise I'd wait for everything to come out on DVD. Criterion is my favorite theatre because they serve wine and validate parking.
Television:
If it weren't for TV, I'd never sleep. I highly recommend Dirt on FX. Tuesdays at 10. It's AmaaaaaZingggg
Books:
Books!!!! I love them and I read them. I hate Sci-Fi.
