Wicked. My name is Luke Jebson, though i've never really had much use for that sort of a name, as most people call me Stavros cos i look Greek or I sell Kebabs or something. I'm English till I die (probably soon) but i've got a bit of Italian and Irish blood in me which probably means i'm great at cooking upside-down cakes or some shit, I dunno you figure it out. Before we go on, I just want to let you know that my middle name is Alexis and yes, I'm a man. I think maybe my parents thought of me screwing with their lives and so tried to sabotage mine.
Also, Boris Yeltsin visits me in my dreams.
I don't think he realises yet that I can't speak Russian,
but i'm glad for the company. R.I.P Boris Yeltsin, the Party Manimal.
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