About Me
Hot Life Myspace Quotes
My only sibling, my baby brother Paul, was murdered September 3, 2006. I'm sad and angry. I am not okay without him here on earth...the void palpable. I am frustrated with the 'rumors' about his death. FOR THE RECORD: Paul was not on ANY drugs of ANY sort when he was murdered. He did have a blood alcohol of .06 at 6'2" and 220 lbs...not even a good buzz. I'm stating these as facts. I have the autopsy to back me up. I know people have a preconceived notion of who Paul was...some of his reputation was earned and some of it was not. Paul would say "People have already decided who I am...I can't change their minds." I know that Paul was not perfect...but I also know he wasn't high on anything the night of his murder. Paul was with me at my house all day the day he was murdered...I'm a 'square' as Paul liked to call me (no drugs or booze). We had good clean fun. Paul left my home at 6:50pm in a silly mood and was dead by 9:50 pm. I was not there when he was killed...I do not know exactly who did what or for what reason he was murdered. I know what I've been told and I know my brother. I need people that loved and knew Paul to defend his honor when they hear a distorted story told. I know that some people do not intend to be malicious when they ponder the 'story' of Paul's murder...but if you knew him at all...or you know me at all...be aware of your theories and try to be fact based. I know that's going to be a hard one...especially since the people involved in the murder can't keep their stories straight. I think I'll scream if I hear one more time that "he was hanging around the wrong friends" Paul's murderer's were NOT his friends! I can name many people Paul loved and cared about...and not a one of them would have stabbed him in the back or heart! So, there it is...that's been really bothering me for awhile. I miss him so very much.P.S. Darrin Pacheco was sentenced to 39 years to life for Paul's murder.Anyways...I am 34 years old. I live in Paradise, CA. I have lived here on the ridge since 1988. I am married...to my honey of 13 years. I haven't had babies. I absolutly LOVE being with my nieces and nephew...they bring me joy! We have 7 cats, 3 hermit crabs, and 2 dogs. We bought our first home...still have not unpacked. I hate moving! I very much dislike painting. I enjoy doing my "deskwork". I enjoy music...I may or may not carry a note...but I'll still sing along! I have a hard time resisting a good deal on things I use. I LOVE receiving mail. I enjoy sending cards and notes. I like to watch movies...most any type. I am still friends with my best friends from high school. I am usually a social person. My honey says I'm kind. I like all of Gods non-human creatures...even bugs. I love the smell of rain and fresh mowed grass. I feel blessed and really alive when I get to glipse a big lovely deer living its life whilst I watch. I think worms ROCK! I love manicures, pedicures, and massages. I enjoy a good rage venting workout on the eliptical trainer. I love swimming and laying out...knowing I can cool off with just a quick jump into the water. I'd like to go skydiving...if it won't destroy my bad hip, then maybe I will. I REALLY love my Mama. I like fairies, butterflies, angels, and dragonflies. On March 27, 2007, my Mama and I got tattoos memorializing my bro-bro. Paul's ashes are in our tattoos...3/27/07 would have been Paul's 30th birthday, had he not been murdered.I read these at Paul's funeral:i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is youhere is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars aparti carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
e.e. cummings
Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Get Myspace Layouts @ CodeMyLayout.com
