If you were considering asking me for my autograph, don't bother. I don't feel that you've earned it.
The fear I have in my dick doesn't have anything to do with the numbness I feel in my asshole. If you've ever wondered how many northern pike a Jewish man could stuff into a German, don't be afraid to ask.
I sometime wonder if by turning one fish into enough to feed thousands they mean he used a minnow to bait a hook and reeled in a blue whale... And by that logic, I'd say he also probably squeezed grapes and let them sit and forment, thereby turning water into wine. And lets not forget about the stroll across the frozen lake that cat took... Maybe Jesus was just a fisherman drunk that enjoyed icefishing. He was just ahead of his time.
If you ever decide to experiment with anal sex, be sure that your partner is aware. It seems to really creep some people out to wake up and find their lover with a corn can up their ass... Not that I would know.
)))))))))))))))))))
Four more days and I'll have this bed wetting habit licked.
*************************
I threw a dart at a giant map of the United States earlier today. The premise of this was to determine where I was going to live out the rest of my days... It hit right in the middle of Stark County. I was aiming for tripple California.
Another lesson- If someone asks you what you would do for a Klondike bar, it isn't appropriate to shit your pants and sing Kelly Clarkson songs. You won't get your Klondike and you'll have to change your pants. Weak.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Sometimes, when I masturbate, I think about Jesus and all of the little children he probably molested. I know, its kind of weird, but I just got sick of fantasizing about Muhammed dry humping the back of my head.
********************************
Bon Jovi came over again last night... I swore I wouldn't go back to that ass hole, but Jesus Christ is his dick thin. ************************* I seriously need to stop masturbating so much. My fingers are turning green.
For the record, I never actually penetrated that rabbit. I pretended like I was going to, positioned the tool at the entrance of the rabbits orafice, and simulated penetration. The blood had to have come from a previous encounter. I would never.
***********************
Have you ever really listened to your penis? I don't mean just doing what it tells you to do by its nature. I mean have you ever really, honestly, truly, listened to what your cock had to say? I think mine should get in line to see a psychiatrist, what with the fucked up things its been telling me. He said just last night that he wants to stab Bea Arthur. Repeatedly. Then the bastard threw up all over my underpants. I think he has a drug problem.
*********************************

Positions Available, Apply Inside!

We're looking for hard working, motivated individuals to spread the word of Christ. That word, as it turns out, happens to be "pudding".
Qualifications:
Must be a good communicator
Be willing to follow instructions blindly
Must have a predisposition to sodomize young boys
Must show proof of valid drivers license
A degree in bullshitting is preferred, but not required.
No fatties!

On the eigth day...

Jesus had a sale on rimjobs.
******************

Extra!Extra!
Read All About it!

The stars have aligned properly at last! Mass suicide party at my place this Friday! Be sure to bring your own bottle! And a date! We're gonna kill ourselves like theres no tomorrow! Cuz there won't be! Wooohooo!
*********************Some people cant tell the difference between reality and make believe. I try to stay somewhere in between at all times. Not in that Mr. Rogers fairy fairy kind of way... Well, maybe sometimes.
*****************
I'm not who you think I am. Well, maybe I am. It depends on what you think I am, I suppose.

Fuck who? Me?

Yes, fuck me. Thats what the little boy standing across the street from me said this morning when I called his sister a motherless fucking whore for blowing my dog instead of my cat. She knows that Sabu is just a baby. Sick bitch.

!!!!ATTENTION!!!

Due to massive public outcry, I have decided to temporarily POSTPONE the pit BBQ that was scheduled for January 15. Apparantly the city believes that it would be unacceptable to have the odor of roasting fetus flesh roaming freely about the city. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused any of you. I do, however, ask that you continue to speak out against this miscarriage of BBQ. Write a letter to your local leaders urging them to stay out of the eating habbits of civilians. Its nobody's business what, or who, we as private individuals eat. Thank you, and good fucking day.
***************************11-19-06
Is it this hard to find a "job" everywhere else in the fucking world? It's unbelieveable the shit that they make you go through just to, literally, shovel shit. Its complete and utter nonsense. In the past month and a half, I've probably tried to obtain employment from around thirty different places of business. I've tried to get on doing everything from unloading trucks to building cabinets. Out of all of the applications I turned in, I've had three goddamned interviews. Three. And the only job that I was actually offered was working for K-Mart. Those bastards wanted me to unload trucks for four hours a day at that astronomical rate of a whole fucking SIX dollars an hour. On top of that, they wanted me to piss in a cup just so they could make sure that I was morrally correct enough to work for them. Christ. How would a guy ever be able to even do any drugs with that kind of pay? I mean, fuck. Basically, if you accept a position with K-Mart, you're agreeing to the fact that you'll never be able to afford a sack of schwag again. Fucking tyrants. And then, to top it all off with this K-Mart dump... At the interview, this guy (who is very easily younger then I) starts giving me shit about having not gone to college. "What, haha, do you plan on doing with your life... Haha... I see you didn't go to college." Well, buddy, I planned on making a living out of fucking working for K-Mart for the rest of my life, you fucking tool. Your mom just doesn't pay me enough to suck my cock these days... Cocky motherfucker. I'm sorry that my parents didn't feel the need to pump money up my ass for four years so I could get such a prestigeous job as you. Hiring people for goddamned K-Mart. They must be so proud. And then, this fucking moron goes on to tell me about the excellent benefits package that K-Mart offers... "Well, Ross, upon accepting employment, you'll be enrolled in our fantastic benefits package. You'll recieve a card that gives you TEN PERCENT off of all of your K-Mart purchases! And theres more! You'll also recieve a card that gives you TWENTY FIVE PERCENT off of all of your Little Caesar pizza purchases!" Whoohoo! Must be my fucking birthday. And to think, I was under the impression that maybe they'd make up for their insultingly low wages but maybe, you know, helping you out if you become deathly ill. No chance. They'll help you make sure that all of the $200 you'll make every two weeks goes straight back into their pockets because you can't even afford to shop anywhere else where you don't get a shitty 10% discount. I was tempted to shit in my hand and throw it right in this fucking chode's arrogant mug.
And why is it that everywhere you try to work, they need you to piss in or on something? I may not be one of them college edgumakated folks, but I'm pretty sure that I could unload a fucking truckload of neckties after rousting a doober. Its not exactly a mental challenge to stack boxes of fucking shoes on a pile. If you ask me, I'd say that these low wage paying cocksuckers should be ENCOURAGING you to come to work high. In fact, I'd go as far to say that it should be mandatory. And they should be the ones who are supplying the shit. How many people do you think would be complaining about having to scrub toilets for 5.15 an hour is their boss had them blast a few bong bowls before they were handed the wire brush? Not fucking many, is my guess. What really chaps my sack is the fact that I've had jobs in the past where I knew, from personal experience, that my "boss", if you will, did drugs. I've been in situations where I have actually witnessed my boss snort lines of fucking meth off of her office desk. And then, to have that same hypocritical cunt tell me that I need to do this or that... "Time to piss in a cup, buddy... We have reason to believe that you're HIGH." Well, what made you think that? Is it the fact that we just burned one down together before we got here? Dead give away, I guess.
And another thing... Everywhere you go, they want you to have prior experience. Trying to get a dish washing job at your local shithole cafe? Well, you better have worked at another shithole cafe previous to that for at least six months. They need to know that you can get shit done. Wouldn't want to hire somebody that, god forbid, has never run an industrial strength dishwasher before. Christ knows that teaching somebody how to do that could take years. Do they not realize that if every business out there is requiring you to have "experience" before they hire you, that no new workers will ever be able to get a fucking job? Pretty soon, the only people you're going to see working anywhere are going be eighty year old fucking men. Guys that were able to get their experience points up earlier in life when things like dishwashers and fucking microwaves were cutting edge technology.
****************************
11-14-06
How Great Thou Art...
So, I was sitting at home last night at around 2 a.m. I was just flipping through the channels after I had finished my video game rampage when I stumbled across one of the most wretched fucking things I'd ever had the displeasure of laying my goddamned eyes on. It was a channel called "TBN". Can you guess just what "TBN" stands for? I bet you can't, because it's almost to fucking crazy to be true... "TBN", as it turned out, is THE BIBLE NETWORK. Seriously, I'm not fucking with you here. The motherfucking, goat blowing BIBLE NETWORK.
I sat there for about five minutes, just dazed. I couldn't even believe what I was watching. They had this supercharged "holy man" running around touching people on their heads, knocking them into some kind of sequence of seizures, rolling around all floppity and such. This guy was just going apeshit mad with the power of the lord. Seriously. Don't laugh.
Now, I didn't know that the lord possessed this kind of power. Apparantly a shot of Jesus's love is the equivilant of snorting a half ounce of crystal fucking meth because this guy was SPUN. He'd run to one side of the stage, "Be saved my child-uh! Jesus will protect you-uh! Give your soul to the lord-uh!". Then, he'd touch some old lady in a wheelchair on the forehead. The old bitch would, miraculously, stand up, take a few steps, then collapse into a Jesuseizure. Then, the sweaty strung out motherfucker would run to the other side of the stage... "Jesus loves you-uh! Give yourself to him-uh!" and touch another one of the gimpy old ladies on the head and send her into a Jesuseizure. I sat there completely dumbfounded. Why, I wondered to myself, was the lady that was in the wheelchair able to stand up and walk a few steps before her Jesuseizure kicked in while the lady on crutches immediately dropped to the ground like a sack of sour shit? Maybe, I rationalized, the crazed Jesus warrior just gave the crutches lady a bigger shot of Jesus juice. I mean, who am I to say? I've never healed someone with the power of the lord, only to have them spastically collapse.
But boy oh boy... This motherfucker had all the answers. "If you pledge $60.00 a month for the next sixty months, the miracle that you are witnessing today would be grateful. If you pledge $600.00 a month for the next sixty months, we will say a prayer for you on the air. If you are willing and able, bless your heart, to pledge $6000.00 a month for the next sixty months, we will say a prayer for you on the air every month until your cycle of payments is up! Hallelujuah!". Again, I sat there completely dumbfounded. I, as a simple thinking man, didn't realize that having your prayer said on the air made it easier for Jesus to hear it. What a fucking idiot I've been. Of course. Jesus has got to be at least 2000 years old by now. His hearing isn't what it used to be. Pipe that fucking prayer out over the airwaves! Maybe the sonuvabitch will catch wind of it and send me the twenty five Playmates I've been asking for for all of these years! And can you imagine? For only $6000.00 a month for the next SIXTY FUCKING MONTHS, I can ask Jesus over and over and over again if I can have my way with Pam Anderson and Jenny McCarthy? I couldn't believe it. I picked up my phone and I started fucking dialing away... And then it hit me. Either $60.00, $600.00, or $6000.00. Hmmm... If you take away all of the zeros, decimal points and dollar signs, you left with three consecutive sixes. MARK OF THE BEAST! This guy is in Satans corner. He's a servant of Lucifer! I didn't know what to do, so I changed the channel as quickly as possible. To my greatest luck, I landed on a channel known as "TFN". And, boys and girls, can you guess what "TFN" stands for? THE FAITH NETWORK. Wow. I lucked out here. I had just narrowly escaped that satanic cocksucker and, by the grace of god, was rescued by The Faith Network. You'd neer guess who was sitting there talking Christ on my television set... It was Mr. fucking T! No bullshit! Mr. T. I thought to myself, "What luck! There's no way that that super-charged satan boy can get me now! I'm protected by god's own T-bag!". What luck. What dumb fucking luck. And, as my luck continued, I learned that Mr. T only needed $50.00 a month to save me from eternal damnation! Whatta guy. And to think, all of these years, I just thought Jesus was some cult leader from an old fictional novel...
So, as the Catholics say- May the greed of Christ compell you! (or something like that)
******************************
11-10-06
I've got something to say...
Well, well, well... America has, for the first time in quite a long time, surprised the mighty Sicky101. Finally, the country has pulled their collective head out of their collective ass. The Republican party has lost power, at last. And it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. Now, I'll be the first to admit, the Democrats aren't all peaches and pussy, shall we say. At least they aren't (currently) sending my friends to a shithole country to be potentially murdered for their own personal gain. Old G-Dubs is in for a hell of a next couple of years. Hopefully it isn't too late to make a bit of a difference. In his address to the nation, he was visably schnookered. Scared shitless, as the Germans say. He knows that his omnipitence has come to an end. And good ol' Rummy headed for the hills faster then King Pizza for a pile of ganja. It's a glorious thing, really. The worst part of the whole situation is the fact that this should have happened TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with the people in this country? Even those hardcore douche bag Republican supporters quietly turned their backs on their beloved Bush. But have you noticed that none of them will admit it in public? I've yet to hear one of my Republican associations admit that they've been wrong this entire time. But somehow, some way, the Democrats recieved enormous support from a source they didn't own over the past six years. And these Republican douches who quite obviously jumped sides are still too proud to admit they were wrong to those who have been trying to enlighten them for so long. Somebody voted for the Democrats, and it wasn't just Democrats that did it.
I posted a bullitin yesterday praising the downfall of the fascists, and not to my surprise, I found my "friend" count to be significantly lower this morning. Fuck you Republican sheep. We've had to eat your shit for since the begining of this decade. Now its time for you to eat your own shit. If you can't handle the fact that you were wrong, are wrong, and will continue to be wrong, then you can suck my hog. Delete me from your friends lists. It's better for those of us who think freely to not associate with those of a herd mentality. You know who you are. And, I must say, it would probably be in your best interests to just go ahead and off yourselves right now. You've obviously progressed as much mentally as your existence will allow. Just get it over with.
As I've said, I don't agree with everything the Democrats do and say. But anyone with a quarter brain would have to admit, this war is a fucking joke. Nothing more then a spectical designed specifically to line the pockets of those who, coincidentally, have ties to industry that benefits from war. Those good ol' boys that the Republicans have been shoving down our throats for so long are not what they seem to be. Shit, they're not even what most Democrats think they are. Most of the people that hate Bush and the entire Republican party seem to believe that he is nothing more then a stupid little man with a tiny little brain. And, indeed, that is what it seems to be. But that little bastard has decieved all of us. He is, when judged by his accomplishments, very smart. He has gotten everything that he wanted out of this. He has convinced more then half of an entire nation that they needed to support his cause. And what was his cause? Lining his pockets. And, I assure you, he has most definately soothed the interests of those who will take care of him once this spectical is over.
So, sleep well now if you can nation... But the next couple of years are going to be a political enima. The party has only begun.
*******************************
11-2-06
Halloween just isn't what it used to be, let me tell ya... A so called "holiday" designed for children to be abducted and turned into helpless (or helpful, depending on which end your on) sex objects to be used solely for the purpose of stimulating those who can't aquire sexual contact by honest means. And, I guess I'll admit, I may not be the final authority of what constitutes as honest these days. But I've always stood for the same thing- If they're old enough to walk, then they're too old to be deep fried. And, lets be honest here- What good is a child if you can't fit him or her into a frydaddy? I'll tell you what good they are. None.
But all of that aside, back to Halloween festivities. Why is it, all of the sudden, taboo for a guy like me to go door to door begging for goods that better suit my needs then candy? I expect to recieve equal treatment as the rest of the world, children included. Is it so much to ask that the good public keep a thirty pack of Keystone next to their dish of Snickers bars? Fucking seriously... Gays, minorities, and midgets all get their equal rights. Why not alcoholics and druggies? Is it ok to turn away a midget lesbian islander child on Halloween? I wouldn't think of it. But these uppity cocksuckers get pissed off when I expect to get equal treatment. It's discriminative, and I'm sick of it. You know what I tell those little bastards that beat on my door begging for sugar? Get a job, motherfucker. Not that I have one myself, but I'm sure you can understand where I'm coming from. If I'm expected to buy my own Jim Beam and PBR, then I think its a bit hypocritical for society to grant these hoodlum beggers a free pass when it comes to sugar. Do you know what pisses me off the worst on Halloween? Those ape-shit crazy Jehovah's fucking witnesses. They spend the entire year knocking on everyone's doors. "Have you heard the news?" these cocksuckers ask me... "What news is that?", I reply. "The news of Jesus Christ, of course!" You've gotta be fucking kidding me. You knock on my door at eight in the morning to try to spread "the news" about a fictional character from two thousand years ago? Unbelievable. And then, on Halloween, these self-righteous bastards have the balls to turn their lights off when I come pounding on their door. I refuse to leave until they answer. "I'm sorry sir, our faith doesn't permit us to participate in such an event." Well, boil my balls in blood and call me Bobby Brown. Arrogant fucking cocksuckers! They walk around all year harrassing anyone they get a chance to communicate with, and the one night a year I expect a return on their harrassment, they try to turn me away like I'm the fucking plague. Maybe they'd gain a few members to their cult if they walked around with a bottle of Jack under each arm. I'll admit, it would be a lot harder to turn a little seventeen year old virgin from my door at eight a.m. if she was gonna sit there and get shitty with me while she read me the gospel. Tap, tap.
****************************
10-23-06
Today's lesson will deal with the so called "disease" of alcoholism. To follow along with this lesson, there are a few items that you're going to need. First off, grab a bottle of your favorite spritz, whether its whisky, rum, or Jew piss, it doesn't matter. Just so long as its at least fifty percent content by volume. Next, you're going to need a set of horseshoes. Now remember, a set consists of three shoes. Not two, kids, but three.
In addition to the shoes, you'll need to find a bone from the rib cage of a blue whale. Now, don't be a fucking baby- It isn't as hard as it sounds. There are PLENTY of blue whale rib cages out there. Just get off of your ass and find one... And finally, you're going to need a bottle of AstroGlide and someone with a cavity. Thats right, a cavity. Now, I don't really give a shit if your person's cavity is a poopshute, a hoo-haa, or a humdinger. The type of cavity that you choose to play this game with is your own choice. In fact, if you're one of those folks that has a hard time finding a cavity to call home, feel free to cheat. Use your own cavity. Use your dogs. I don't give a fuck, call your mother.
Now that we've got that taken care of, we can get this show on the road. The first thing you're going to want to do is drink the whiskey, rum, or Jew piss that I instructed you to obtain in earlier on in this lesson. Go ahead and do that now... Come on, you can do it... All of it... Just a little more to go... There ya go. Now, if you've followed my instructions to this point, I've probably lost your attention by now. Realistically, YOU'VE probably lost your own attention by now.
And this is the moral of the story, boys and girls. Whiskey is fun. Rum is fun. Jew piss is fun. And now that you're all liquored up, aren't you glad that you have all of those other items to whoop it up with? My suggestion- Lube up the whale bone with the AstroGlide. Position your cavity at the bottom of what is now your home made slip and slide. Position yourself at the top of your slide. And finally, let yourself loose. See how this could be a fun game to play at family reunions and barmitzvahs? "Holy fuck sticks, Grandpa, you got twenty seven inches deep into Uncle Leroy's asshole! I bet I can beat that!"
Family fun for everyone.
Alcohol doesn't hurt anyone. It just makes shit that isn't entertaining bearable.
**************************************
10-19-06
I killed a man with my mind today. You don't have to believe me if you don't want to, but I tell you, its true. Now, I will go on to say that theres no way for me to know this, per se... But I do believe in the power that my brain possesses.
I woke up this morning with a very vivid image of a man in my mind. Call this homoeroticism, if you will, but I believe it to be something of a completely different nature. I knew what I had done. The image of this man stays with me even now.
After recieving this other worldly image, I was given a message from the great King of Kings. He told me what I had to do. So I did it. I recited the passage that was implanted in my head while I slept the previous night. I focused all of my energy into the destruction of this man. I was then given another message telling me that the job had been done. Does this sound crazy to you? Does this sound unbelievabe? Well, believe what you want. I will give you this warning, though... You could be next. For I don't know who or what gave me this message. I don't know who or what gave me this power. All I know is that it is real. Very real. Somewhere in the south western desert, a man lies dead. Vultures pick at his bones. And it was all my doing. Who will be next? Who will meet their end without ever truly knowing the man who ended their life? I don't know. And thats the beauty of it. I only hope that you will not be the next, for this power is not to be controlled.
***************************************
10-12-06
Thats right, folks. It's time for another exciting installment of Sicky101's incoherent ramblings. I will be your host.
Let me start this addition off by stating that while I may be currently unemployed, theres no way that I'm the laziest tart standing upright. If I was, in fact, the laziest tart around, I wouldn't be standing upright at all, now would I?
With that being said, I'll get into things that seem to be a bit more pressing... Namely, the current state of the onion. You read correctly, I said onion. Is it just me, or does anybody else out there think that onions get a undeserved bad fucking rap? Seriously. Who doesn't have that one pussy ass friend that has to order all of his Whoppers without onions? Now, let me ask you this- What did onions ever do to you? Is there a reason that you don't give the baddest motherfuckers on earth the respect that they deserve?
Do you know why onions have the ability to make people cry? It's because they're bad motherfuckers. Its true, its true. Can you think of any other food with this ability? Can you think of any other thing on this goddamned planet that can make you cry like a little bitch without even the slightest bit of effort? You cannot. Unless you're speaking of the Catholic church, which I will remind you, has put great effort into making life hell for people over the last two thousand years. But full of shit cocksuckers aside, you can't name a fucking thing as tough as an onion. If you could, you probably wouldn't waste your time praying to "god". What you should be doing is honoring the most hardcore sonuvabitching thing there ever was. Thats why I eat as many onions as possible. The way I figure is, if an onion can be such a badass on its own, why can't a bit of that power transfer over through consumption? I mean, fuck, I'd drink Jesus's blood if I thought he was as tough as an onion. But I don't, because he wasn't.
One thing I will tell you, though- If Jesus would've eaten onions on his Whoppers like a man, he would have had the balls to tell "god" to fuck himself and shove all of our "mortal sins" up his omnipitant holy ass. But Jesus had no balls. "I'll take a number one... With, uhhh... Extra ketchup... And for my sake, hold the onions!". He couldn't handle the power of the onion. If only Jesus would have put forth a little effort and eaten an onion now and then, maybe he could've died of the black plague like a respectable Isralite. But nooooooooooo... The weenie didn't particularily care for the taste. You may be asking yourself, "How in the flying fuck would this cocksucker have any idea whether or not Jesus ate onions?"
Well, my friends, let me tell you. If he had, he wouldn't have crumbled like a little bitch as quickly as he did. He would've had the balls to stand up for himself. He could've made something of himself. "Son of God" my hairy ass. No onion eating Pussbot 5000 is more like it.
So with that being revealed, I'll leave you with this... When you go to bed tonight, and if you feel compelled to, ya know, "say your prayers"- do yourself a favor. Pray to an onion. At least that way you know that the object that you're asking for help from has some balls.
**************************************
10-5-06
I woke up today at precisely 12 o'clock. I know this because the town I live in has a goddamned siren that goes of at precisely noon every day. It also goes of at precisely 6 p.m. as well. The purpose of this horn? Fuck if I know. I actually think the nazi christian bastards that arrange for this horn to blow do so solely to piss off honest, hard sleeping men like myself every fucking day. No bullshit, this fucking thing has been going off each and every day since I was just a wee lad. About a year ago, I noticed that the horn had finely, after 20 years of waiting, ceased to function. This was, as you can imagine, to my greatest pleasure. I threw a party. We all dressed to the nines and thanked our lucky stars that we would no longer have to deal with these nazi bastards telling us exactly when it no longer appropriate for us to lay in slumber. "Time to work, you lazy fuckers! Who do you think you are to be in bed at noon, anyway?" the horn would scream to us. No more, I thought, would I have to deal with this condescending bullshit. So, like I said, I celebrated when the fucking thing finally met its maker. As it turns out, it's maker was some kind of high corporate national horn supplier that just so happens to take great pride in the fact that their horns function for a great period of time. Greater then 20 years, it just so happens. So what did they do? The bastards sent out a new goddamned horn to replace the old horn. The new horn is twice as fucking loud, rings for twice as fucking long, and is pitched twice as fucking irritatingly. Can you guess how this story ends? I bet you can. So, after throwing a celebration in the demise of horn A, I decided to allow myself to pass into a deep, wonderful slumber which began at around 9 a.m. As visions of sugarplums, dead Republicans, and Guinness Draught danced through my head, I was startlingly awakened... A mere three goddamned hours after crashing by the new Scream Master 2000 horn B. Fuck that nazi bastard horn. Fuck it right in its nazi horn blow hole. Fuck that horn and every horn that looks like it. Nazi christian cocksuckers.
********************************
10-2-06
Yes... Internet communications...
So, Now that I've really truly had time to soak in all that is MySpace, I've come to a few conclusions-
1. There are way too many douches out there.
2. Everyone and their fucking dog is here.
3. 90% of the people on here either want you to sign up for a porno service of sell you something.
Within 2 days of entering this odd community, I was offered about 20 different webcam memberships. This is, if you know me at all, a very difficult thing to deal with. So, yeah... For the last few days, I've done nothing but watch bootskanks masturbate for both your pleasure and mine.
Just as I first suspected, this shit is a trap. But not the kind of trap that allows you to just saw your leg off and bleed to death as you run. No, kids, not that kind of trap... Its the kind of trap that forces you to just sit in awe and live with the discomfort of knowing that you're caught and there is nothing that you can do to stop the bleeding.
So, all of you out there, I just want you to know- I feel your pain. I will bleed with you. Good Day.
****************************************
9/29/06
Wow. I think I just may have figured out how to make this page not look quite as fucking dumb as it does when you first create it... Fantastic. It's probably been 6 years since I touched HTML or anything of the like. Too much Guinness over the years has scrambled my goddamn head. Not to mention all of the other recreational hoo-hums that I've ingested... Anyway, I'll do what I can to make the best of this whole "My Space" venture, though I must admit, I'm still a bit skeptical. You always hear about people getting so sucked into this shit that their lives fall apart... You know the bit- The priests that meet little boys and run away to live out the rest of their lives suckling a pre-pubesent rectum. The little girls that meet "Rufus", a kindly 14 year old boy who just so happens to live a few miles away- only to meet Rufus and realize he's a mechanic from Jersey with a punishing 10 inch dick and a rottweiler to match... Whew... You just never know what you could get yourself into with this shit. So, if any of you out there are thinking of contacting me and trying to take advantage of my poor sweet virginal young ass, please don't. Unless, of course, you are very rich and willing to throw some of that cash cow my way. Then, maybe we can talk business. Yeaaahhh boy.
**************************************
Hello, myspace world. I am here to view all that is the wonder of internet geek communications... Uhhhh... Yeah. So, I guess I don't really have a whole fuckload to say right now. This is my first message, and as you can probably imagine, Im a bit aroused by this point. I will now go ahead and rub one out while trying to think about something more interesting to write. Good Bye.