Indo Mafia

Contrakt Killah :
Contrakt Killah was a nickname given to the Killah when he was five. Contrakt killed 4 other niggaz over who was the better beatboxer in a beatboxing competition... no one disputes his beatboxing superiority anymore. He rose to the top of the heap in the hip hop game when he released his first album back in 1992 entitled "I fucked that bitch with my Tech 9". The album was an underground fan favourite with such classic tracks as "Crazy ass niggaz" and "It ain't neva gon stop". He met up with Hygenics when he attended a Public Enemy concert and threw a bra onstage with his phone number on it and received a call shortly after.
DJ Hygenics :
Spent the first four years of his illustrious life soaking in a bath tub full of 9mm ammo and whiskey, which explains a lot about his eccentric personality. At the tender age of nine he went by the handle "Terminator X" and was in a rap group of little importance named "Public Enemy". Chuck D once said of DJ Hygenics, "I've never seen a nine year old nigga fuck so many hoes at once AND be able to break out the phattest beats I've ever heard!" Since then, DJ Hygenics has moved up in the world and has graduated to fucking bitches, sluts, crackwhores AND hoes.
Dr. Funk :
Shortly after Broom Bandit's tragic demise, the Earth fell into a state of decay. Rap music had practically vanished by the year 2052 and global stability suffered greatly. In the year 3201, Dr. Gero decided to mend the broken world he lived in. He consulted the world's greatest scholars and soon knew what he had to do. By using advanced technology he managed to extract Broom Bandit's DNA, fusing it with the pure funk isotope, Funktonium, and make a clone of him. After injecting the essence of every single rap album ever released directly into the clone's brain, Dr. Gero decided that this new emcee, this new messiah, was ready to be sent back in time to right the wrongs of the past. Dr. Gero knew the truth; he knew that the only thing that could possibly save the demise of the planet was a new Indo Mafia album. Dr. Funk is the link between the present and the distant future, where the Indo Mafia are worshiped as gods.
O to the N :
owen says:
um
owen says:
one day in the ghetto
owen says:
i was fucking so many bitches
owen says:
that my bed fell through to the core of the earth
owen says:
and gave me rapping powers
Gagg Reflex :
Gagg Reflex enjoys the finer pleasures of life, such as hanging with his homie and associate Paul Sugarman getting crunk and listening to Synth Pop. The two frequently talk into the wee hours about their feelings and deep inner thoughts. Promiscuous sex is a favourite activity of Gagg Reflex; he is a groupie by profession. His most notorious bedfellow is White Chocolate.
White Chocolate :
White Chocolate is being very generous to the Indo Mafia, taking time out of his busy schedule of binge drinking and furious (yet stealthy) masturbation to drop some rhymes. He was born on a bus (in a two-seater). WHITE CHOCOLIT IS THA BIGGIST AN BADEST 1 OF EM;;A CRAZIE MUTHAFUKA COLD SPLITTIN THA BOOTZ REPAZENT
Juicy Juice :
Juicy Juice comes in 15 flavours:
- Apple
- Berry
- Bong Water
- Cherry
- Cranberry Apple
- Grape
- Kiwi Strawberry
- Mango
- Orange Tangerine
- Peach
- Punch
- Strawberry Banana
- Tropical
- Watermelon
- White Grape
Mike Darez :
More so than any other music since the blues, hip-hop is all about stories. And its stories are both criminal minded and grand, making them enthralling and unbelievable, but also making them only as interesting and convincing as the teller. That's why, despite being blackballed by the industry, without a major-label recording contract, heads still gravitated to Montreal, Quebec's realest son, Mike Darez, like the planets to the sun. Darez is the real deal, the genuine article. He's a man of the streets, intimately familiar with its codes and its violence, but still, Darez, an incredibly intelligent and deliberate man, holds himself with a regal air as if above the pettiness which surrounds him. Couple his true-life hardship with his knack for addictive, syrupy hooks, it's clear that Darez has exactly what it takes to ride down the road to riches and diamond rings. Darez is real, so he does real things.
Official Honourary Hoes
Mariel D. (Founder and President of Official Honourary Hoes)
Annie B. ( VICE President and "Miscellaneous Receptacle" of Official Honourary Hoes)
Will "Phat Beatz" G.S. (Cum Depository)
Richard "Dead Sexy" Newman (Douchebag Extraordinaire)
Gaby "I Have a Really Scary Long French Name" Poitras (Winner of the Prestigious "Taking More Cocks Than a Urinal" Award)
Dan "Feet and Bananas" Fournier (Official Fashion Consultant and also 24/7 Bottom)
Phil "Bleeding Sphincter" Passudeti (Official Poser and Multi-Cock Technician)
Hot Auction (DVDA Hoes in training and Official Band Sluts)
-Luke "Play With Feeling" Gruber (Semen Recepticle)
-Eric "Captain Rimjob" Smith-Dubois (Back Door Beauty)
-Jonathan "No Double Bass" Knowles (Emo Glass Bottle Slut)
-Nick "Slap This Bitch" Knowles (Hermaphrodite Special)
-Arnab "Who the Hell Am I?" Majumdar (Who the Hell Are You?)