We all play for Joey Blackheart now. This page will be used for Big Nick to report UFO sightings and post reviews of stoner movies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonight... on WHERE ARE THEY NOW???
Bryan Atoms currently lives a quiet life, working in retail in a Walmart on the outskirts of Albuquerque, New Mexico. He breeds pit-bulls for seeing-eye/guard dogs in his spare time, and has a cherished pet poodle named Muffin as well. He and Muffin, along with a large cult of some 160 people living on his property known only as "the Vanguard", are alleged to practice massive tantric-sexual group rituals on holiday weekends.
Big Nick has been living in solitude, slumming in the cornfields of northwest Ohio for the past four months. He keeps a flock of trained pidgeons in a cage he installed on the back of his truck, which he lives in, and studies the Hagakure as well as the works of Aleister Crowley. It has been reported that he has several low-fantasy novels in the works, but with no publishing deal established as of this program. Residents in the area say that he is close to achieving a transcendental mastery of "Guitar Hero II", and is still fond of Transmetropolitan comics, orange soda and marijuana.
Donut still resides in Westerville Ohio, where he has converted the old Prime Directive headquarters into a megatemple where for 32 weeks and counting he has been preaching the ways of "Nihilist Budhism" to a following of nearly 3,000. He also still works as a courier driver; infact, according to the Guiness Book of World Records, an entry for the Land Speed record was submitted on his behalf by admirers who clocked him shattering the sound barrier while delivering heating vents to the outskirts of Muirfield.
The three of them were spotted conveining in the alley behind Bernie's Distillery over Halloween weekend. Witnesses say they were huddled around what looked like a laptop computer, minus the standard keyboard, and were communicating with what looked to be some sort of extraterrestrial species. The following ameteur recording reveals part of their intergalactic conversation...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
[Donut] Project Earth is a no go. We are unable to proceed as planned at this time.
[Big Nick] It is in the hearts of the willing to accept us as their gods, but the scene is in too much disrepair as to allow us contact with an audience of the scope we'd projected.
[unknown] Then it is so. A transport will be sent to collect you within a year's time, then you will regroup back here on Eon 8 and redeploy for a new, more reasonable assignment. Then, when the time is right, when the people have come together and assembled an underground worthy of your enlightenment, then you shall return to Earth, and our plans for conquest shall proceed as planned.
[Atoms] Affirmative. Praise Mithra.
[Donut and Big Nick] Praise Mithra!
[Atoms] Over and out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from Yahoo! News)
By DICK MCSLAPFACE, Associated Press Writer
Wed Nov 1, 5:40 AM ET
COLMBUS, Oh. - Local punk rock paragons PRIME DIRECTIVE have decided to call it quits. This announcement comes amid allegations that all three band members are registered sex offenders.Band frontman Bryan Atoms says that aforementioned allegations are simply untrue and have nothing to do with the sudden implosion of the band.
"The truth is, we just cant hack it anymore." He said.
Obesity and Enzyte overdoses are cited as the true reasons for the band's demise. This coming from the official press release. People outside of the band have theorized for a while now that the band would dissolve, but that it would be due to a growing sense of apathy in the local music scene.
A friend of the band, Big John, believes this to be the case more than anything else.
"Nobody cares about music in this city, there's great bands around here and no one feels like paying to see them. Good bands just get tired of playing shows for 5 people, 4 of which didnt even pay to get in." He said.
"And as far as all three of them being registered sex offenders, thats hullabaloo and propagandizing by the conservative media. They havent registered yet."
