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Funny Joke of the Week

Three guys go to hell. One's white, one's black and the last is a latino. The devil says "if you can give me a sentence with the colors green, pink and yellow WITHOUT using them as colors... i'll let you live"The white guy says : "Well... there was this one time when I was in college and i was talkin to my friend joe and he..." The devil killed him.The black guy says : "nigga... i'll green, pink and yellow ya face.." The devil killed him.The spanish guy, who is now scared shit, is thinking as fast as he can.. He then says : "well... uh... my telefono goes green green. I pink it up and say "yellow?" He lives...
1. So a blind man is sitting at the bar. A woman sits next to him, so the blind man asks her, "Hey do u wanna hear a blond joke?" the woman replies, "Well, im blond, the three women sitting behind u are blond and theirs a blond bodybuilder sitting to the otherside of you. Do you really wanna tell a blond joke?" So the man said "Your right, I would hate to have to explain this joke 5 times!"

Summited By Luis

Please Summit Your Jokes to me so i can put it up my page as the weeks funniest.

1.

There's a woman sitting on a park bench next to lake looking at the ducks with no arms and legs crying this guy sees her and asks why is she crying and the lady replies "I've never been kissed before" so the guy kisses her but she keeps crying, so he ask "why she's still crying" then she says "I've never been hugged before" so he hugs her, but shes still crying so he asked "wats wrong now?" then she says "I've never been screwed before" So the guys picks her up and throws her into the lake and shouts out "Now your screwed!"

2.

This dude takes a girl to his house from the bar one night. Theres a gong in his bedroom and the girl ask "whats the gong for?" the guy goes "Its my clock" the girl gives him a dee dee dee look and the guy goes "I'll show you" so he hits the gong, sending a huge gong sound throughout the neighborhood. Then someone from across the street yells. "What the fuck are you doing!! It's 3 in the morning!!!" the dude looks and the girl and goes "see it works"

3.

A blonde is sitting next to a guy in a train and the guy asks "are blondes really that stupid?" the blond replies "how bout we make a bet. If i give you a riddle and you cant answer it you give me 100 bucks, and if you can i'll give u anything you want". So the guy smiles and thinks he cant lose. So he takes the bet. THe blond asks "WHat has 8 legs , 3 eyes, 6 arms, and green and red all over". So the guys starts thinking...for about 20 minutes and gives up. SO he gives the blonde the money and the blond turns around and goes to sleep. The guy wakes the blonde up and ask for the answer. THe blonde goes "i have no idea, but you still couldnt answer it so i win. ha ha"

All 3 Summited By Poopie

Please Summit your jokes to me so i can put it up my page as the weeks funniest.One afternoon a little girl excitedly approached her mother, and announced that she had learned where babies come from at school that day. Amused, her mother replied, "Really, sweetie? Why don't you tell me all about it?"The little girl explained, "Well... OK... the mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes, and the daddy's thing sort of stands up, and the mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's where babies come from."Her mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye to eye, and said, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not where babies come from. That's where jewelry comes from."There was this married man that works in an office 5 days a week. There's been some nights when he stays out late working overtime. He calls his wife and tells her "Honey, I'm going to be late again". Knowing the true fact that he was actually going to his secretary's house to have sex. That night he has sex with his secretary. When he finishes, he goes into the bathroom to wash up when he notices in the mirror that he haves a huge Hickey on his neck! What to do now? So he takes off in his car and startes to think about what he's gonna tell his wife about that Hickey. He pulls up his drive ad still thinking about what he is going to say to his wife! Whne he opens his front door, he finally thinks about what he's gonna do! He see's his dog and starts to rool on the floor as if he was fighting with the dog. He screams out "HONEY, COME SEE WHAT THE DOG IS DOING TO ME!!!". the wife runs down the stairs and see's the action. He pushes the dog away and tells his wife "Honey, i dont know whats wrong with that damn dog, but look what he did to my neck". Suprisengly, the wifw says "oh my god! That dog haves some issues then, look what he did to my breast!" LOL

Summited By Joel

Please Summit your jokes to me so i can put it up my page as the weeks funniest.

Funny instructions

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this...)On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)