Yeti

It is not entirely accurate to call “the Yeti” a Yeti. The truth be told, he is half man and half Yeti. His mother was a travelling Gypsy performer specializing in throat singing from the former Yugoslavia and his father was a pure bred Himalayan Yeti who immigrated to Canada in the late 70’s to pursue a career in acting and theatre. While at a casting call for Harry and the Henderson’s, Yeti’s father met his future bride to be who - subsequently - was working temporally as a production manager’s assistant for that particular production. Although Yeti senior did not get the role in that feature film, he did meet his future mate. Both disillusioned with the entertainment industry as a whole, Yeti’s mother and father retreated to the lush slopes of Mount Benson on the outskirts of Nanaimo (Vancouver Island) and set up a modest den. It wasn’t long before they had their first litter and the rest, they say, is history. With continual waxing appointments – partially funded by Habitat for Humanity and WWF – the Yeti is able to keep his unbelievable attractive manlike form. For the warmer months of the year the Yeti can be found hunting, drinking, and playing music around Vancouver, BC. In the colder months the Yeti refuses waxing – partially for financial reasons – and migrates home to Vancouver Island where he is reunited with his pack for a combination of hibernation and ritualistic games of charades in their den. Warning – Though the Yeti is predominately mild mannered, he is still a wild animal and the appropriate caution in all interactions must be exercised! Things like being refused drinks at a bar, animal jokes, and leashed dog parks are known to throw him into beastly fury. The Yeti is currently working for the Hotel Lobbyists Foundation of Canada.