Bobby

I was born a poor black child in the open plains of western Texas. I had to migrate to the city for food, because the rugged landscape of west Texas is pretty barren. It was there, in the tough streets of dowtown Dallas, where I learned to be white and "kick ass". I became a human lethal weapon through the "cinematic" training of men like Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, and Jean-Claude Van Damme. It didn't take long for my talents as a dominant street fighter and my "Brad Pitt like" qualities to catch the eyes of Hollywood. I was soon making money hand over fist, as a kung-fu stunt double to the very heroes I grew up watching on the big screen.That money, fame, and business experience then allowed me to achieve my ultimate dream...owner of the Tuscaloosa Zulus, a fantasy football team in the Smash Mouth Fantasy League...that's right, the SMFL.