This is me in my office. I get a lot of shit done.
I'm easy going, laid back and relaxed. Aw shucks...who am I kidding? I'm a high strung, undermedicated, type A DIVA.
I might have turned the word devil into a verb. I'm all about deviling around the house. Really it just means I'm scoping out the floor for anything interesting, checking any low trash cans for tissues and just generally looking for a harmless trouble making activity.
I have one pink toe nail and I recently had some rhinoplasty done to help me be less of a snorter. I still snort A LOT. I really honk it up when I sleep.
My ears are really cute and really soft but I'll only you touch the top of my head when I'm partially in a sleep coma. You can scratch my chest anytime though.
Some people say I'm a tasmanian devil, I say who cares what they think.
I don't like sleeping in my own bed but my momma makes me. (update: I weasled my way into momma's bed once again and you guessed it...I'm a close sleeper.)
I'm allergic to bananas but I really really love them. I might be allergic to who knows what so my momma has me on a new really yummy diet.
OH, This one time I hung from the jowls of a Saint Bernard. She liked it.
I've been told I have two speeds...asleep and totally nutso. whatev. Maybe it's true.
I freakin love it when the lady at the doubles D's gives me a donut hole. At first I thought it was a toy, so you can imagine my excitement when I realized it was FOOD. Yeooowww PORTLAND!
Fetch is my favorite game, cheese is my all time favorite food and I have a bit of a lotion & foot fetish. I have my own language too. Nope, dolphins aren't that special. Mine isn't a squeek, it's more of a inhaling honk through my nose. It does wonders in getting my point across. Mostly I'm just asking to snuggle on the couch or for some cheese. This one time, someone threw a Kraft single at me and it landed on my face. I didn't even drop it, I just sucked the whole thing in. yup, cheese is pretty much my favorite.
My favorite nail polish color is VIXEN. It's hot. I don't much like having my nails clipped though. Thank god for nice Rachel at planet dog.
Sometimes I wear a pink tutu or the occasional black cocktail dress. It calms me down to look that hot. In the summer I wear an ultra hot pink camo bathing suit with a skull and crossbones on the back. I love looking girly badass. In the winter I wear a striped sweater from the Gap. It really makes me just stand there and stare at you like a little cow. It kind of has the same effect as a straight jacket. Sometimes I sleep standing up, also like a little cow.
And they keep asking me, "where's ian?". Where the heck is Ian anyway, he's certainly not at the door cuz I look everytime they ask.
I've been told that I smell like a little goat. Mixed with fritos.
I have a LOT of nicknames, I answer to all of them.New ones sprout up daily. Here are a few: Piglet, Pigz, Hot Chops, Cowie, Hogs, Hoggy, Piggity, Choppers, Hoggity, Piggy, Wiggles, Wigs, Mountaineer, Pork Roast, Baby Seal, Boo Boo, Grandad, Nublet, Lil' Roaster, Hoover, Wildcat, Devil Dog, Grandie, Pork Chop, Choplets, Wildabeast.
Look at me... I'm SWIMMING!!
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