Too many people know what I look like already. Why leave descriptions lying around where anyone can read them? I'm just glad no one's found a way to capture my image and then digitize it so it can be displayed on a computer screen.
Aw, dammit...
Current Hairometer Reading: too close to call. And no, that doesn't mean I cut it, so calm down, members of the Hair Academy. You know who you are.
Some random likes: thick noises, shipping containers, calling Ukraine "the Ukraine", Sterling Hayden, ambiguous syntax, glasses on certain people, and quiet, empty places.
Some random dislikes: mayonnaise, all things "knee-jerk", parking tickets, needless complexity, most shades of pink and yellow, being poked in the eye, and pleated pants.
There. Now I can date the entire internet.
I still have teeth. More than before, actually. Most of them are in a jar. I plan to outsource most of my chewing.
The name-guessing offer has been rescinded. Redeemable "Jeremiah Dollars" are now awarded on a situational basis for acts of valor, impressive junk sculptures, any linguistic flourishes which delight me, and my cruel, cruel whims. Contact me for more details.
If you would like a transcript of my old "About Me" section, send one million "Jeremiah Dollars" to:
Mr. Jeremiah Lee's Special Rock That Looks Like A Rock But Is In Fact A Pandimensional Maildrop Nondescript Barren Field #4247 North America, Earth Western Arm, Mutters' Spiral Universe 1-A
Sincerely,
Jeremiah Lee