My Job Experience
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, ...couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it ... mainly because it was a so-so job.
I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.SO, I became a DRUNK.... I realized I was a drunk and not an alcoholic because I didn't go to those damn meetings. There were other signs that I was a drunk too. You might want to check yourself to see if you too are a drunk, here are some tell-tale signs...You lose arguments with inanimate objects.You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.Job interfering with your drinking.Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!You can focus better with one eye closed.The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."Your idea of cutting back is less salt.The whole bar says 'Hi' when you walk in.You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.Roseanne looks good.Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass."I'm as jober as a sudge."
If you recognize yourself in 3 or more of the above signs, you can buy the next round."
