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About Me

I am the proud mom of an angel in heaven and an angel on earth.Bereaved Parents Wish ListI wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had him back. I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me. I need you now more than ever. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child; my favorite topic of the day. I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my child's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die. I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and I will always grieve that he is dead. I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself. I don't want to have a "Pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal. I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you. When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily. I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky. Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time. Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child died and I will never be that person again. I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and my grief. But I pray daily that you will never understand.Author is unknown, though I feel like these could be my words.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Tyler-again and all of my friend's children who are in heaven playing with Tyler. I can hardly wait to see my sweet Cody again, who I know is entertaining Tyler! I also want to meet God- I have a lot of questions

My Blog

Alone

..I have started this blog a handful of times.  I'm not really sure how to explain how I'm feeling, or where to start, so I will just start and hopefully it will all come out right. Over the 4th ...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:59:00 GMT

What makes a Mother?

What Makes a Mother I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today I asked "What makes a Mother?" And I know I heard Him say. "A Mother has a baby" This we know i...
Posted by on Thu, 08 May 2008 08:09:00 GMT

A Mother’s Grief

    A Mother's GriefYou ask me how I'm feeling,but do you really want to know?The moment I try telling youYou say you have to goHow can I tell you,what it's been like for meI am haunted, I ...
Posted by on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:45:00 GMT