I like to listen to music, but I don't like making claims about it. I really like to eat well and cook, but I spend all of my money on gin and cigarettes. I think I've grown more urbane and objective this last year and a half back at school, but I've lost some of the irreverence, and I miss it, it's a shame. I wish I took my actions more seriously, willfully.
Not long ago, I felt comfortable saying I'd like to be an academic. I can't say I still want that. Maybe the ivory tower, maybe the trouble with making something known not necessarily making it work, maybe the difficulty in avoiding turning persons into objects, maybe my own shortcomings, I'm not sure what it is exactly.
I haven't really kept my previous resolution of finishing what I start. It seems that I take on duties, in good faith, and somewhere in the middle of things the deed is exposed for all its deceits, and it breaks my heart a little each time. There are moments though, like the shattering of what I previously held to be true, or the surprising gestures of people sticking up for each other, that disarm and renew, and suspend my tendency for disbelief.
I'm really a lot more fun than this stupid profile sounds.
(This whole section now is really old, but my face feels hot with nostalgia when I read it so it stays.)
