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I'd like to meet:

1. Jesus Christ!

2. The child that Teri and I miscarried on March 14th, 2001 (I miss you, little one. Someday, your Heavenly Daddy will introduce you to your earthly one!!! I look forward to kissing your forehead and hearing the sound of your laughter! I love you!).

3. My wife's dad, Charles E. Bartsche, Jr. (he passed away several years before I met her).

4. Robert C. Stern, MD (Dept. of Pediatric Pulmonology) and Robert J. Izant, Jr., MD (former Chief of Pediatric Surgery) at Rainbow Babies & Children's Hospital in Cleveland. In 1974 - when I was a mere four months old - God used these two men to save my life!!! (Although I technically have met them both, I was a little young to say thanks.)

Billy Graham, Edmund Parker (Kenpo Karate legend), Dennis Prager, Gichin Funakoshi (considered "the Father" of modern Karate), Ronald Reagan, Theodor Geisel, and Lee Jun Fan (you most likely know him as Bruce Lee).

Also, I'd very much enjoy meeting a hazel-eyed midget beneath a Magnolia tree for a picnic lunch!!! The menu would be as follows: Citrus-Sage Grilled Turkey Breast, Farfalle Salad with Basil Pesto and Pignolis, Prosciutto-wrapped Melon Balls, a loaf of crusty artisan bread, Butter Tarts, Dark Chocolate-Vanilla Bean Truffles, and a couple bottles of Chardonnay, 2003, no, 2005 vintage, from some Native American owned and operated winery in suburban Sioux Falls, South Dakota. South Dakota is world-renowned for their vineyards, ya know. I read on the internet that the colder it is outside, the better grapes grow! Grapes love snow. Forget the Napa Valley, guys ... South Dakota's where it's at! EVERYTHING on the internet is true. Back in the day, people used to make wine by squishing some grapes with their feet. That's non-hygenical! I would cook all the junk for the picnic myself, or else try to steal it from someone who happened to have all of the aforementioned foodstuffs with them. I heard that mugging people is illegal in some places. We would probably sit on a big blanket, 'cause no one likes to have a picnic standing up. Michael Jackson's second born son is called Blanket. Weird! At the picnic, I would play some awesome music on a boombox ... probably like The Oak Ridge Boys, Poison, Barry White, or Ratt - or even Fantasia, Clay Aiken, or some other kind of American Idol superstar! I like boomboxes. iPods are for wimps, and nerds, and little babies! We would talk about me being 6'1", and them being a midget. My pretty wife would come, and my midget friend could bring their spouse, too. I would wear a handsome hat - maybe a sweet fedora like Frank Sinatra - and a pair of Converse All-Stars, gray in color, size eleven-and-a-half. Midgets are neat. Picnics are fun. Turkey is delicious. Converse are comfortable. Indian dudes sometimes wear buffalo skins and do dances that are funny and cool ... them guys can dance so good, sometimes it makes it rain! One time, I watched part of Dances with Wolves while drinking a glass of Chardonnay. I have no idea what all this means. It's ridiculous! POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS DUMB! I love midgets!!!