I'd like to meet:
Just a few Jokes from John Petty (Copyrighted)
CONFEDERATE COMEDYWhy didnt Kentucky join the south?----
-Because The south would have eaten all their fried chicken.----Why wasnt lincoln ever put on a postage stamp?----
-Because the south would have spit on the wrong side.----Why did Grant attack VICKS-burg?----
-Because he had a bad cold.----Why did the soldier's feet hurt?----
-Because he stepped on hardtack.----Why did General Butler attack fort FISHer on friday?----
-Because he was Catholic.----What kind of net do you use on a Civil War soldier?----
-A BAYO-NET.----Why did Pickett charge?----
-cause he ran outta cash.----Why did the Pope lose his job?----
-Because he was a bad general.----What do you call a fat guy firing a cannon?----
-Heavy Artillery.----What do you get when you mix a soldier and a butterfly?----
-A Zouve.----A park ranger was talking about a battle on an openfield and saying how bloody it was going muzzle to muzzle. A little boy went up to the park ranger and said "I think thats dumb, why didnt they just hide behind all those monuments?" -true story------President Davis asked Jackson to be commander of the army before he did to Lee. But he gave the job to Lee because Jackson kept Stone Walling.------Historians cant figure out if the the 71st PA ( The California regiment) was in the infantry or Navy. Because they marched sometimes and surfed the rest. ------One would think dismounted calvery was quicker then infantry. but that wasnt true becuase the dismounted calvery had to drag their saddles with them.------The Confederate goverment could only afford to give swords to infantry officers and calvery. So the Confederate Navy for Swordfish instead. ------When the 4th Michigan Calvery surrounded Jefferson Davis's caravan running to Texas on May 10th, 1865, The calvery did not find Jefferson Davis until they noticed 2 woman walking away from the seen. They halted the pair and identified Mrs. Davis and Mr.Davis dressed as a woman. Well the union men noted that Mr.Davis was the best looking woman their. One even married Mr.Davis a few years later and together they were buried in Michigan where they remain to this day. The End ------All Jokes copyrighted to John Petty's brilliant headhttp://www.ark-ives.com/images/interior/arkives_int_phot
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