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x L a U r Y n M c K n I C K e R L e S S x

If Carlsberg Made Girlfriends.....

About Me

Her Style Cant be Duplicated. Or Recycled...THIS chick is a sick INDIVIDUAL
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Im Lauryn. Not The Name I would Have Picked…It was the one I was Given. And Yes. I’ve Been Brought Up. Under A rule. That States You Have To [Pretend] you like what you are given. An Example? Christmas. People you don’t even know existed [Buy you a present you Have EITHER one Got or Two don’t even like?
So. Maybe To Cut A Long Story Short. I should of Just Said… Yeh. I don’t Like Lauren. Don’t Feel It Suits.!
But Yeah….Im Me...Not another Me In the Whole of the World. Nor Will there ever be...[ever again]
Maybe that’s a Good Thing?
Shes never had a boyfriend ever.
What Never. Like Never ever.
No Like Never Ever Ever Forever!
SHUT UP!
I Know! I Think Shed Make Quite a COOL Bird Like
*Maybe After Reading this. It wont Be as Much Of A shock to ya* No One Understands Me Ever. But Neither Do I. So? [ Im just here for the entertainment..just here to be the entertainment ] I am An Attention Seeker- But in My eyes its fun.Certainly Not Someone people envy. But is Someone That Envys…BUT I look Great In GREEN. It would be rude not to? As Original As they come. As Genuine As theyre Made. No Regrets. They Dont Work. Unfortunatley I seem to be gettin more immature as the years go on. Im always doing it different. The Wrong Way. Please Tell Me Whats wrong about it...Its just my way.You learn from your mistakes.... Loz Doesnt. [Forever] Im Ugly? Ask Me!. Cut Me Open And I pour Out Every Goddess You Have Ever Wanked Over. Dont own a trumpet to blow. Lifes To Short to be Worrying about what people think about you... Your entitled to your opinion like... Just cause your entitled doesnt mean its right! So I Will Do What I Do So You Can Think What You Think Don’t say I never warned you….. I hate Girlyness...Girly ways...
Know You don’t pie yaself do ya? Liars! Girly rules... You cant sleep with someone one of your friends have??? Whats all that bull about…. If Ya Can Share Lipgloss Ya Can Share Todge. In My Yellow eyes anyway.Girls that cant dance unless theyve had a drink Scared to let their hair down. To frightened to destroy what little reputation they feel they own.Im Always The life and soul of the party. I always dance like no ones watching.Love Heart Nothing Better Than a Crazy night on the tilesI CANNOT. Repeat I cant Stand Being Talked Down to. By People. Who Think They Know Better. If they New Better Theyd Get Out of My Head.I dont Project my insecurities at you. I just Make fun of them.I sometimes Wish id Never Existed. Or Could Start Again. Be Someone Else. But. Im Here for a reason. And Thats A reason I will Never Comprehend. Ever. If I Could Be Born Again Id Be Brazillian Im a Potty Foul Mouth. BUT You Love it. Don’t Lie.Sometimes Too Honest. Gives a Barry. And Will Speak my mind. Even If You Don’t Want me to. Im The Wrong Un That’s Gone Right. Finally. Took me a while. But I Got round to it. Had Some *Shizen Shags*.I laugh at just about everything.[2007 is easy….The Year of. A. The Spitroast….B. The Rusty Trombone….C.The Boob Job]If You don’t know me now. You will in the future… Il Sleep With Your Husband No Doubt. [Just Jokes] My Names In Lights. We All Love it Bareback… Safe Sex Is For Shit Bags. [Joking]. Always Wear A Hat.
Loz Loves IT Hard and ROUGH.
FINALLY EVERYONE IS FINALY STARTING TO WONDER...IS THIS GIRL JUST ABOUT THE BEST THING EVER?QUAVERS ARE CHEESE FLAVOURED! Texting. Eating. Sleeping. Yawning. CHEATING

My Interests

I Like Totally Love heart:
*Stella* *Malteasers* *Netball* *Tea* *Acting My Shoe Size(for a living)* *Texting* *Seeing What Shape Ya Chewy Makes Game* *Swapping Chewwwy(eee I know) *my Spoz* *Getting My Crab Out* *Mooning* *Foottyyy* *LFC* *Laughing* *PAY DAY* *Flamingos* *Green Bananas* *Looking/Feeling Fly* *Fry Up* *Frenchies* *My Zebra Boots* *Shit MIX* *Lie Ins* *My Girlfs* *My Boys* *Cold Appropriate Pints* *Sex OBV* *Swerving Col For The Pub!* *Food Fights In Col* *Being Naughty And Stuff* *MAD NIGHTS OUT PLEASE* *Chilli Dorritos* *Popppppppers* hah *Short Shorts. Shorter the Better* *BAR REEF* *Playing Dead/Fighting/Wrestling* *Audis* *Holidays* *Tan* *Sugarpoofs* *UNI* *Hard.Funky.Electric.Filthy.House please* *HUGS* *A Good Work Out* *GOSSIP* *Secrets* *TALKING. Il Talk To Anyone. Bout Anything. Except Boats*And As For these...theyre GAY. And AIDS ridden:
*RAIN* *Bores To Life* *Squares And Conformists* *Sunday Bum Ass Drivers* *Imigrants Illegal Ones* *Cigarettes* *Skint* *Bad Hair Days* *Vodka and Coke. ITS RANK* *Buses* *Taxi drivers- claiming ive put them in wheelchairs* *Traffic Wardens* *Widnes* *HANGOVERS* *The Lack Of Sex* *Boyfriendlessshizzles*

I'd like to meet:

*My Real Birth Parents* *Stephen Gerrard* *Kanye West* *Jessica Alba(shes FIT!)*

Music:

Electro House, Dirty House, Funky House, Underground Rave Scene Shizzle speedy garagy drub to the basssyyyy...Bit Of Indie too if i must..and some sexy Jtims/timba/centyboy r n b sorta shizzlad and so on... ?Erol Alkan? ?Simian Mobile Disco? ?Prodigy? ?Roger Sanchez? ?Telepopmusik? ?Timbaland? ?Amy Winehouse? ?Pendulum? ?Tiesto? ?Lcd Soundsystem? ?CSS? ?Calvin Harris? ?David Guetta? ?Kraftwerk? ?Justin Timbercakes? ?Pendulum? ?The Killers? ?The Enemy? ?Chemical Brothers? ?Le Tigre? ?The Smiths? ?2 Many DJ's? ?Arctic Monkeys? ?Bassment Jaxx? ?Benny Bennassi? ?Beatles? ?Bloc Party? ?Bob Sinclair? ?Blondie? ?Culture Beat? ?N Trance? ?Daft Punk? ?Armand Van Helden? ?Underworld? ? Kanye West? ?Groooove Armada? ?50 Cent?
To Name a few!!

Movies:


Eye Candy...
?Anchorman? ?Life Of Brian? ?Hot Fuzz? ?Trainspotting? ?Pulp Fiction? ?Finding Nemo? ?The Matrix(1,2 and 3!)? ?Lucky Number Slevin? ?Fight Club? ?Assault that ass 3? ?Gang Bang Girl 32? ?Napolian Dynamite? ?Identity?

Television:


Telly Candy...
?Might Boosh? ?Match Of The Day? ?Family Guy? ?Hollyoaks? ?Top Gear? ?Soccer AM? ?The Simpsons? ?Jezza Kyle!? ?Shameless? ?Mock Of The Week? ?The OC?

Books:


Brain Candy
?Nuts?Zoo?More(position of the fortnight!)?Girl With a one track mind (deffo wrote about me!)?Dan Browns Little Creations!?

Heroes:


Life Wouldnt Be The same without my:
Ashley Mother Beaver she keeps me insane and mad for it!
Kelly Bean she lets the dirty wine dance get the better of us!
Our Kidda Gem the sis that shows me what individuality is all about. Shes a ledge.
Shivvy Momma- Has ensured i have not died in the past year or so
DanDan fellow pisshead. Whos answer to every problem is "just Have Sex!"
Becca Boo a raging alcoholic with an adoring addiction to making me get my crab out. IN PUBLIC
Ged..."Tequilla Heals all" NUFF SAID!
Steeeeeeve...Funniest person ever. Makes me silent belly laugh. Fellow non conformist. We bother your peanuts on a daily basis.