Brian profile picture

Brian

When masturbation's lost it's fun, you're FUCKING LAZY!

About Me


This layouts made by FreeMyspaceLayouts.orgAbout me? Fark... Ummm.... Well a lot of people ask me why I'm called Unkle Baz so I suppose I could take this opportunity to explain that... But instead I'll just waffle on about a whole lot of useless shit. LoL

To keep the repo men at bay I look after disabled people, which isn't much of a job really, more of a past time. I pretty much just get paid to turn up. Yes it really is that easy lol.

I also train Wing Chun Kung Fu at Eastern Wing Chun Kung Fu check it out it's pretty cool... *Bows to Sifu Peter lol...

My Interests

Ummm... Boobies? lol Yeah, defineltaly boobies... I'm the RSPCA of the boobie world, I love all boobies... Great and small ha ha ha... True story *nods to Cassie ;-P

Likes:

1. I love to sing in the car load as fuck to songs that I like with the window down, I can only sing in a few keys too so often I'm out of tune and sound terrible but that's all good... I love when the lights turn red and the person next to me has their window down and looks over at me like I'm a freak, yeah... I'm a freak ;-0

2. Girls... Girls are great... Let's get a hip hip horray for girls ;-) Specifically... hmm.... Methinks that this is going to need its own little subcategory.... So here it is...

Things about girls that I like:

1. Glasses

2. Thight high stockings, they're so cheeky and sexy gotta love em...

3. Girls in tracksuit pants... Not just cause they're kinda cute, they're also a good gauge of your overall hotness, if you can make trackies work you can make anything work ;-) *nods to Cass ;-)
4. That they smell good... I'm not talking about perfume or whatever, I mean their natural scent, women smell nice, in my experience they all smell different but hella good... Even when women are sweaty and think that they stink, they still smell good ;-)
5. G-strings, or thongs or whatever you like to cal them... Women look great in them. a womans curvers are just made to look great and the more of them that you can see the better, and the squarishness of the g-string emphasizes the curves... Men in G-strings however are UGLY... Men are more squareish so the squarishness of the g-string makes them look all angular and shit, end of the day if your a guy please don't wear a g-string, especially to the beach, especially if it's a beach that I'm going to cause I don't wanna see that shit, and let's face it people, it's like a bad car accident, although you don't want to see the carnage you can't help but look...

That'll do for now, there's no much more but far out, I could be here all week ;-)

Back to likes.

3. Music

4. Getting on it with my friends and then getting up slightly hung over on a warm sunny Sunday and going out to get some lunch, usually at Knox City, city outside in the sun and people watching, talking shit about the night before.

There's more but I can't be arsed.

Dislikes:

1. Burners... You know those bastards that say that they're coming out or going to do something and pull out at the last minute.... Pfft... Those bastards

2. People that mess up my happy place... If I let you in and you mess up, I don't give out much in the way of chances, usually one if you're lucky. after that I delete you from my phone and my life ;-)

That's about it for now too... I'm a simple guy ;-)

I'd like to meet:

Anyone, especially anyone that likes HALITOSIS (there's gotta be at least one of you out there! lol) or trains Wing Chun Kung Fu

Oh and did I mention chicks? I kinda dig chicks ;-P LoL

If you wanna chat add me to MSN [email protected] (be warned though, if you do I will probably add you to the Halitosis mailing list ;-P You have been warned LoL)

Do you think I've got enough Halitosis links up yet? Maybe one more for good measure?

If you want to help support Halitosis by putting the above banner on your page just copy the code below and put it on your page somewhere, I'll love you forever if you do ;-P




Boys have a penis Girls have a vagina

Band practice silliness with my favourite snack food... MMMM... Carrots.

Yes I am quite immature from time to time as these pictures seem to prove, or it could just be because I like sex so much... Who knows

Unkle Baz This is me having fun with a rubber vagina at a friends 21st birthday party!

The funniest part was when his mum and his grandma started putting their fingers in it! Kinda disturbing but very funny!

Unkle Baz

Music:

I hate music LoL... I dunno... Word on the Street is that HALITOSIS is a pretty cool band ;-P

Nine Inch Nails, Static-X, Disturbed, Drowning Pool (with Dave Stage), Tool, The Teas Party, Finger 11, Deftones, The Clash, System of a Down, The Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Cypress Hill, Hill Top Hoods, Faith No More, Gorillaz, 311, Ben Harper, 50 Cent (sad I know, but for some reason he really amuses me LoL), Blur, Nirvana, Filter, Radiohead, The Eels, Leanard Cohen, The Velvet Underground, Incubus, Pappa Roach, Sum 41 (one of my mates looks exactly like the singer it's kinda freaky LoL), At The Drive In, The Mars Volta, The Cure, The Prodigy, REM... The list goes on and on I'll add more to it another time... Maybe.

Then of course there's the uber cool Melbourne bands! (Listed in no particuallar order other than what my brain remembers them, if you could see how hard my head is working as I write this list on a Sunday morning with a massive headache you'd kill yourself laughing LoL.)

Head Filled Attraction
Tremedy
Humanizerr
Exit Wounds
Alpha State
The Eleventh Hour
Rimend
Rook (Formally know as PaperStreet SC)
Tread
Tirany
Plow

There's a hell of a lot more of them but that'll do for now

Movies:

Old Boy (This movie redefines what a movie should be), Old School, The Big Lebowski, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Donnie Darko, Sin City, The Family Guy Movie, hmmm... Napolean Dynamite... GOSH! Heaps more but I can't be arsed making my head work that hard I'm a little too hung over for that.

Television:

Family Guy, Futurama, The Simpsons, American Dad (are we seeing a theme there people?)

Books:

Books... Yeah, I used to read all of the time, mostly sci fi and fantasy (yes geeky huh lol)... These days I hardly ever read... Hmmm... Maybe that's why my, what's the word for it? Talking skills? Fark it that'll do, talking skills have dwindled, or maybe it's because I hang out with intellectually disabled people so much... Who knows... It's probably just the partying on the weekends catching up with me lol.

Heroes:

Heroes? Umm... You for reading all of this fucking dribble lol.

Random Chuck Norris Facts
1.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
4.The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
5.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
6.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
7.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
8.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
9.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
10.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
11.When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
12.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
13.Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
14.Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
15.Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time".
16.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
17.As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
18.Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.
19.Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever the fuck he wants.
20.If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
21.A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
22.Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
23.To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
24.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
25.Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
26.Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
27.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
28.Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
29.When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
30.Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

My Blog

Random shit that no one cares about not even me ;-)

So I went to the Casino and I lost :-(  Oh well...  Anyways... Have you ever had one of those moments when you realise that there's nothingn tieing you to where you live anymore? I had one o...
Posted by Brian on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 04:32:00 PST

Gambling, gluttony and other assorted sins

So tonight I'm going to the Casino...  Oh yes, I will be playing some Blackjack and it's going to be grand!  If only I can wake up a bit...  Fuck me, I'm so freakin tired right now you ...
Posted by Brian on Sat, 14 Oct 2006 08:28:00 PST

Jumping off the deep end and hoping like hell that I can actually swim lol

So...  Last blog I said that I was going to join the army part time...  Hmmm...  Turns out that I'm half way through the recruitment process and just today jumped ship and have put myse...
Posted by Brian on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 08:33:00 PST

I tihnk that I've gone crazy

So yesterday I clicked on a button that may change my life forever...  I have taken the first step towards joining the Australian Army...  Scary huh? lol....  I'm only looking at part t...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 12 Sep 2006 04:30:00 PST

Better do this Cassie lol

Question time.... do this. 1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. How have I affected you? 5. What do you think of me? 6. What's the fondest memory you have of me? 7. How l...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 27 Jun 2006 12:48:00 PST

Nothing

So...  I'm sitting at work right now, should really be working but pfft...  Whatever...  Hmmm...  You know what, I really don't actually have anything of interest to write... ...
Posted by Brian on Sat, 24 Jun 2006 08:33:00 PST

Twisted metal and little old lolly pop men

So yesterday afternoon my car had an altercation with another car...  The two vehicles didn't seem to want to get along...  I think that the other car was just trying to be friendly with my ...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 06 Jun 2006 11:00:00 PST

Hmmm....

Why is it than whenever you go up someone else seems to go down?  I'm stupidly happy at the moment, I have a beautiful girlfriend that I totally adore and makes me smile like an idiot at totally ...
Posted by Brian on Sun, 21 May 2006 05:45:00 PST

Warnambool, sunburn & the prospects of pain!

I was sorry to learn today that the drummer from Humanizerr has broken his arm.  This means that they are unable to play their scheduled show in Warnambool on Friday and have asked us to fill in ...
Posted by Brian on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 11:26:00 PST

The stupidest thing that I have done for a while

Ok now every now and then we all do something that is really fucking stupid...  Like right now for instance I'm a prisnor in my own home.  Why you ask?  Because last night when I got ho...
Posted by Brian on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 06:50:00 PST