Lauren

I like to trail off my sentences and finish them with an inconclusive mime that gives no indication of the missing word. Someone once told me that most of life's problems can be cured with a wink and a smile. I tried that and I think a shrug and a lie go a lot further... If you don't know the safety word, I can't be held accountable for the consequences. . . I once wrote a term paper about the video game "Halo" in regards to Freud's "Civilization and Its Discontents," and got an A on it. I have no quams about causing bodily harm to myself for comedy's sake. I have never been a slutty anything for Halloween. My resume says "Grate Speller." I know all the state capitals and can rattle off every NFL team in under 90 seconds. i have no idea when to use a semi colon; no idea. I've been described as "wiley." I believe chivalry is still around and think it's nice when a guy opens a door, pulls out a chair, or offers to undo this own belt. I love to make people laugh, but the odds are 2-1 in favor of me secretly mocking you; and by secretly, I mean blatantly. I would almost definitely beat you in Jeopardy. In this life, nobody's keeping score. . . but if they were, i'd be winning.