♥j_long

i'm what they call a
my name’s jes & i'm 18. i'm finally a senior at ellet ('08 babe) i have goals on going to college, but we’ll see what happens. all i know for sure is i love music and i want to teach it to kids but i’m all about taking life one step at a time. step 1: be happy & healthy. step 2: graduate from high school. that’s what i’ve got so far. i love my job, as much as i complain about it i work at the carousel dinner theater. i’m a waitress there. (techanlly a backserver) part of what makes me love my job so much is the people i work with. they’re amazing my home life isn’t all that great, i live with my mom. my dad was in a car crash when i was just a baby. and he suffers from brain damage now. it’s sad sometimes, i feel for my mom. can you imagine that happening? the love of your life. your fiance and father of your only child just taken away from you just like that? it really makes me appriciate what i do have. i think i have a pretty good grasp on what life’s supposed to be we’ll see if i ever get there or not... i can play the piano and i'm pretty good at it it helps me think more clearly and it relaxes me i’m not afraid to admit i make mistakes nobody’s perfect except god, if you believe in that sort of thing ...not really sure if i’m at that point yet either believing in god that is. sometimes i don’t act like it, but i’m actually a very intelligent human being. i act dumb sometimes. i think i have a pretty keen sense of humor and i just let it loose at school. i know when to shut up (except in ms. spring’s class- she hates me) and i know how to appreciate the good things in life. i try to express myself as best i can but it's not always that easy in highschool i can't wait to get out i'm pretty good at controlling my emotions if i'm sad or pissed i try not to think about it and it'll eventually go away which probably isn't very healthy i should probably work on talking to somebody about my feelings i just haven't quite found someone who gives a shit about what i have to say i like to take walks and i've been trying to do that more and more as i slowly but surely become more insecre with my body and my self image i just chopped all of my hair off too which isn't helping anything i'm actually a very very insecure person but i play it off like i'm the most confident girl you'll ever meet the worst thing that's ever happend to me was getting my heart broken i would never wish what i went through on another person no matter who they were i was miserable and now that i'm not so miserable anymore i'm settling and that's not good either but like i said i take things one step at a time and right now i'm working on getting my high school diploma hopefully i’ll make something out of myself. you’re only given one life to live and i hope that i live it up to it’s fullest potential.