Heather - ProfilesArchive

About Me

i mix drinks. i drink drinks. i have also been known to spill drinks.i only enjoy running if i'm being chased.i have yet to meet a mom who doesn't like me.i enjoy being a hermit although i am rarely home.

My Interests

wasting time, hanging up on telemarketers, drinking beer, porcupine wrestling, the hokey-pokey

I'd like to meet:

the McQuaid brothers, Captain Caveman, Ookla the Mok
adopt your own virtual pet!

Music:

The Cramps, The Moldy Peaches, The Stooges, Niki and the Corvettes, Pleasure Seekers, Velvet Underground, Ann Magnusen, Beehive and the Barracudas, Beulah, X, Murder City Devils, Sufjan Stevens, Gogol Bordello, Eagles of Death Metal

Movies:

Heathers, Freeway, Kung Fu Hustle, Dario Argento films, Michael Moore documentaries, Raising Arizona, MirrorMask, The Man Who Copied, Garden State, Shaun of the Dead, Children of Men, The Monster Squad, Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Television:

Deadwood, Lost, 21 Jumpstreet, Curb Your Enthusiasm, the "L" Word, Peepshow

Books:

Where the Sidewalk Ends, anything by Erica Jong, Skinny Legs and All, Good Omens, The Arabian Nights, Running With Scissors, Choke, Infinite Jest

Heroes:

Chilly Willy, Parker Posey, whoever invented the beer cozy

My Blog

Junior

I love my new kitty, Junior. She is awesome. She has been napping on my lap for about an hour. Just now she let out the sweetest yawn ever, sighing, stretching her little left paw up, and laying it...
Posted by Heather on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 06:42:00 PST

My craigslist addiction continues...

As some of you know, I recently have become quite addicted to reading various posts on craigslist (my apologies, Genea, if I have brought you down the same dark path). I am not working very much, hav...
Posted by Heather on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 01:16:00 PST

I used to joke about it and now it has happened

If you have ever heard my "theory" about missing underwear, you might think it funny that someone stole about eight pairs of my panties from the laundromat today. In the past, I have joked about unic...
Posted by Heather on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 01:34:00 PST

feelings and peelings

Disappointment is too close a friend. I care too much to avoid it and I hope so high that it seeks me out. The past month has been characterized by the highest highs and the lowest lows.&n...
Posted by Heather on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 08:16:00 PST

drunken tidbit

I dig noodles, but not ditches, and I love stickers, but not bitches.
Posted by Heather on Sun, 09 Jul 2006 11:00:00 PST

What I learned at Bar Camp

1) You can't make a beer cozy out of only three bandaids.2) Putah lies just beyond the Smittle.3) You must evenly distribute the sunscreen all over your body or you end up with bizarre and random patc...
Posted by Heather on Fri, 30 Jun 2006 12:31:00 PST

*******

i should be doing something else right now. i should be doing something else right. i should be doing something else. i should be doing something. i should be doing. i should be. i should. ...
Posted by Heather on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

beneath a half-empty bed

sweetness forgotten, hardness unchanged, and brightness dulled by the fuzzy remnants of disintegrated dreams, a half-eaten candy cane collects dust beneath a half-empty bed
Posted by Heather on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Beware!! Plate-scraping monkeys hear all.

Tonight, at work, I was forced to leave the sweet sanctity of my bar and serve dessert to 129 ungrateful and irritating old men who just so happened to be alcoholic lawyers. I began throwing down the...
Posted by Heather on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST