I bought three soft pretzels and a large bottle of water the other day at the airport before my flight to D.C.. Of course I tried to spend as much as I could because I didn't have change. I only had a 20 so as I handed it over to the vendor as I regretfully said "I'm sorry that's all I have." This awful bastard then began to denounced my entire core by belittling me for not having petty cash, he ended with a bitter "I'm not the Bank of America!"
Well honestly "Shit!", if I wanted to I could have taken my twenty bucks else where, swiftly shoved my small but convenient knee in his crotch and taken a bite out of those salty pretzels then spit that juicy wad on his shiny forehead as he knelt in excruciating pain before me. You and I full well know that three pretzels and one large bottle of water (Poland Springs, not even Evian or something else with some exotic foreign country as their brand name slightly eluding to the hint of higher quality spring water) doesn't cost 6 bucks. Why does there have to be the unrequested Philadelphian attitude too boot? Seriously I'd love to meet Jay the Pretzel guy from the United Airlines departures terminal at the Philadelphia International Airport again to take a lovely swig of cider in my mouth and then spew that rancid melange of spittle and liquid all over his lovely pressed polo shirt.
Of course all I had done at the time was take my change and quietly walk away... didn't want to be late for the flight.
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