Anita's Life Lessons
1. Don't date vampires, kill them.
2. The Executioner is shorter than you expect.
3. Just because you are human doesn't mean you aren't one of the monsters.
4. Zombies have rights too.
5. Never waste a really good threat.
6. An atheist with a cross is a truly pitiful sight.
7. If you have to be anyone's property, go with people you know.
8. Screaming is for when you don't have anything better to do.
9. Guilt is a wonderful motivator.
10. Illusion is everything.
11. Cars are not fun to chase. They don't bleed.
12. People generally see what they want to see.
13. Paranoia is just another name for longevity.
14. Never forget who your enemies are.
15. Always get out of the way of charging werewolf.
16. If you French kiss a vampire, you risk lip and tongue injury.
17. Life is tough and the universe is not fair.
18. Sometimes there is nothing you can do.
19. Everyone is cannon fodder. Eventually.
20. Sometimes childish will get you what you want.
21. Jeans and sneakers do not inspire confidence as ceremonial get-up.
Edward's Life Lessons
1. Flamethrowers work better than you'd expect on vampires.
2. Always make sure your exit is clear.
3. Friends are merely a convenience and only when you need them.
4. A widow with two kids and cutesy dogs can make good cover.
5. Always have an identity ready that will stand up to police scrutiny.
6. Everyone is your enemy, eventually, if they live long enough.
7. Your rep will always precede you.
8. There are more places to hide weapons than you think.
9. Sometimes a friend can make your job easier.
10. A garrote is for when you want to be up close and personal.
11. The other bodyguards will laugh at you.
12. When necessary dress for your "part".
13. If you don't care what they call you, then names don't matter.
14. When giving gifts, weapons are excellent choices.
15. If you have to torture your friends, well, there ya go.
16. Experiment with your ammo to find what works best.
17. Sometimes the "why" is not important.
18. Personal satisfaction is no substitute for money.
19. Being "unremarkable" is the only way to survive.
20. Be prepared to fit in, whatever the situation.
21. Everyone has a hobby, even it it is only keeping secrets.
22. No one is invulnerable.
23. Find someone you can trust with your death.
23. Surprise people whenever you can.
24. Trust your back up, but only as long as you need them.
25. Know what you're eating, especially in vamp run restaurants.
26. You know you've hit the big time when vampires call YOU, "Death".
27. Holy water will cure all your unholy ills.
28. Anita is quicker than she looks.
.. - Get Your Own
ANITA
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