Brian the Sailor profile picture

Brian the Sailor

About Me


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Oh, quit griping at me that I never update my page. I'll get around to it. Tomorrow.I'm a retired sailor. You probably figured that out by now. If you want to know me, read my blog entries. [Content warning] They're incredibly disjointed and are probably indicative of a deranged mind. I'm originally from TX, was stationed in San Diego, but am now back in TX. I joined the Navy in 1988 because I needed a job, I wanted to get in shape, and I wanted a new start. Before I retired, I climbed masts on all the ships here in San Diego. Not a good job for someone with acrophobia. I play guitar...that's me in the background of the pic. Never made it rich and famous, but had some fun along the way.Oh, almost forgot. I was famous for 22 minutes back in 2000 when I appeared as a contestant on Win Ben Stein's Money. Ben kicked my butt in the final round, 8 to 6. He's a smart guy and was very nice to me. On a side note, at my first command, I jumped out of airplanes...While they were FRICKING FLYING! Scared the hell out of me!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Thomas Jefferson, Winston ChurchillOh, did you mean living people? Frances Ruffelle, Emperor Darth Misha I He's at www.nicedoggie.net Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Larry the cable guy, Pres. Karzai of Afghanistan. Michelle Malkin. And of course, Mary Katharine Ham, because she's just smokin' hot!This vid should fall under the categories of heroes, but my left column is getting long. So you're out for a day at the races. Everyone knows who's going to win. But the little horse with an attitude just throws a wrench in the gears.I always figured that if Frances had a girl, she'd be ugly, boring and untalented. I called that one wrong! No, not the horse. Look below...

My Blog

I Have No Navel and I Blame Obama!

So what's going on here?First off, Sarah Palin is not stupid.  I'm getting tired of that same old spiel.  Is she as smart as William F. Buckley?  Probably not, but whenever I heard Buckley pontificati...
Posted by on Tue, 09 Feb 2010 01:11:00 GMT

I Either Need a Pet or a Girlfriend

Someday I'll write about the standard of living in America, and how a man of relatively modest means can live alone in a house this size.  In Copenhagen, you have a middle class family of four living ...
Posted by on Sat, 06 Feb 2010 17:37:00 GMT

Best Post Ever!

I'm very happy today.  I finally got through to the VA on the phone.  The young lady I spoke with was in St. Louis, and she helped me out.A little background here.  Not long ago, I was approved a VA p...
Posted by on Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:52:00 GMT

Blogging Is Too Damn Hard!

Any of my regular readers, AKA "Smart People," know that I'm not the type of person to complain.  Now, the constant pressure of trying to come up with insightful, witty things to post about is taking ...
Posted by on Tue, 02 Feb 2010 15:52:00 GMT

Old People and Crazy People

First off, if some crazy ass motherfucker wants to tell me I'm stupid, blind, or willfully ignorant for not subscribing to your particular brand of insanity, please do it in comments on the blog so ev...
Posted by on Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:11:00 GMT

Acceptable Losses

Okay, I know my older readers are sick of this piece, but this is the one that put me on the map.  Originally posted on May 19, 1997 (oops,that should have read 2007), it got the attention of my hero,...
Posted by on Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:28:00 GMT

Yeah, I'm Bad!

Hey dudes, check this out.  I've got a new friend, Believe, AKA Thinking Pink.  Don't worry about the "thinking pink" part, it has to do with cancer.  Apparently he's against it or something.  Anyway,...
Posted by on Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:54:00 GMT

Don't This Just Beat All?

This is old news from an article posted on Fox News on Monday, but let's take a peek, shall we?Italy's top disaster official blasted the U.S.-led relief effort in Haiti as a "pathetic" failure that i...
Posted by on Wed, 27 Jan 2010 10:52:00 GMT

On Prejudice

So there we were, ET1 Brian the Sailor and RM1 Nutjob wandering around the streets of Montevideo.  We didn't know exactly where we were or where we were going, but we both liked to walk and talk and m...
Posted by on Sun, 24 Jan 2010 11:47:00 GMT

Rabid Hamsters!

So I copped this great pick up line from Doug Benson.  I think I'll have to try it out:"Pardon me ma'am, but my penis just died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your ass."Hey, I'll give it a ...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Jan 2010 11:42:00 GMT