*GQ* valkyrie profile picture

*GQ* valkyrie

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

KICKING CUPID'S WORTHLESS CHERUB ASS AND FUCKING UP THE INSTITUTION OF LOVE SINCE 1989.....I am a Licensed Independent Social Worker/Tattoo Artist. I also aspire to win a Nobel Prize for destroying humanity. I like long walks in the moonlight and serial killing. I like to workout, read, draw, and compulsively shop. I can tap dance on one foot, for dollars, I also will take yen for my killer dance moves. Drinking is entertaining also. Master Shake is my boyfriend, thanks to roofies. And Kyle Messina is gay. You can tell, because he's standing by that gay milkshake. if all this isn't off-putting enough, i am also extremely stubborn and independent. try to manipulate or control me, and i do exactly the opposite of what you are after...because i am hard-headed and a contrary bitch like that....i have fought hard to get where i am and to be who i am, and i will not bend to anyone. period. My favorite thing to do is tattoo--I work at stained skin second skin in newark....and work is my passion. The one place I feel truly at home is at the shop. if you want some bright and intense color custom work, or if you just want my hands on you, look me up at the shop. Before I sound too gooey/mushy (because I hate that girly shit), might I also add that I am a master of the five-foot-tall ninja kick to the head....a move I tend to deploy after about 7 Michelob Ultras. I gave up riding bicylces after i got my shoelace wrapped up in the pedal and fell over on the side of the road in a pile of humiliation....a stupid move which rendered me boyfriendless for 3 years.....And, lest I forget...I love to drive around with my toaster....Cause that's how we roll in NERK, BITCHES!!!! AND, FOR THOSE WHO ARE DUMBER THAN A BOX OF HAMMERS....OLDER WOMEN ARE HOT.....recognize!!!!!

My Interests

I like art, tattoing and drawing. I like to create fake profiles on match.com just to get the kind of date my mom would want me to have, but would never have me. I like to read books of the mystery, horror and forensic variety. I like to use big words, pointlessly, in sentences. I like to start sentences with the word "I"....wait....huh. I like to drink a lot of beer, and tequila is quite nice. buy me tequila, and you can be a part of my extended family. And if you have seen my brain, please tell it to come home soon......and, my interests also include buck knives, molotov cocktails, hatred of religion, philosophy, coco puffs, fishnet stockings, sand, pirhanas, gummy worms, ugly shoes, sleeping with one eye open, unicycles, Atari (Asteroids and Space Invaders, bee-atch!!!), and single contact lenses.....

I'd like to meet:

i prefer to associate with other heavily tattoo'd and pierced people who have problems with authority. But if you are a hot guy, I will forgive you for being tattoo-less, or a Republican.......wait......you better be GODDAMN HOT, SON,if you are a Republican........ok...and i want to meet the person who invented chocolate....so i can smack that fucker directly in the lips.....hhhmmm...yum...chocolate....i hate that asshole...whoever he is.....

Music:

SAY ANYTHING!!!, plain white t's,Reference, Ground Control, Bullet for My Valentine, Under Oath, The Bravery, Priestess, Sky Eats Airplane, The Clash, The Doors, Coheed and Cambria, Tool, Perfect Circle, Nine Inch Nails, Bloodhound Gang, PJ Harvey, MC Chris, Muse, The Killers, All-American Rejects, 30 Seconds to Mars, Reverend Horton Heat, Social Distortion, Jimmy Eat World, Pink, Suzanne Vega, Siouxsie and the Banshees, New Found Glory, Rise Against,Thursday, Alvin and the Chipmunks, REM, Snow Patrol, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Garbage, AFI(but i think that guy is way gay...ha!)...DAMONE, BITCH, and for some reason, any new wave music from the 80's..........

Movies:

anything with a vampire in it---plus, lock, stock and two smoking barrels, snatch (the movie, perverts), anchorman, dodgeball, old school, chocolat, the goonies, top secret!, better off dead, sixteen candles, pretty in pink, lord of the rings, star wars, harry potter, secretary, ghost in the shell, ninja scroll, monty python and the holy grail, nightmare before xmas, corpse bride, and of course, MOTHERFUCKIN BOONDOCK SAINTS...., and all the kevin smith movies except jersey girl......

Television:

AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE (all non-believers must die in flaming agony), House, CSI--the Las Vegas version ONLY!!! Family Guy, Futurama, Psych, and Law and Order re-runs.....and has anyone seen BET late nights??? Whatever the hell is going on there, I totally approve!!!

Books:

anything by Stephen King, Janet Evanovich, Lee Child, Sue Grafton, Kathy Reichs, Robert Parker, Jan Burke, Lisa Scottoline, John Sandford, Jonathan Kellerman, Michael Connelly, John Connelly, Robert Jordan, anything edited by Susie Bright. some of Patricia Cornwell, plus, philosophy---hobbes, locke, machiavelli (RULES), feminist works.......THE CAGE BY AUDREY SCHULMAN.....AND....EROTICA, EROTICA, EROTICA......because someone has to read that dirty shit.....

Heroes:

all of the tattoo artists who came before me and paved the way.....and all of the women who are still getting heavily tattoo'd, against convention....whoever invented the cupcake, people who still can't tie their shoes, the little asian mushroom guys from Fantasia, and anyone who has read all the above shit......oh, and [DIS]Blackzilla.....yeah, that's right.....you heard me, cause i said it.....

My Blog

love stinks. actually, love doesn’t exist.

so, i was thinking today that i am totally over men.  i don't think i am going to play for the other team either.....but guys, yeah....weiners one and all.  personally, i am going snail-styl...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 06:32:00 PST

perserverance

this is the hope before the fall a frantic and hectic happiness a diminishing shield, a fragile lie like a fresh wash of color over a crumbling and weakened wall heart racing and senses heightened a ...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:48:00 PST

finally ready to move the fuck on......:)

.....well, i finally came to peace with some recent events that happened.....real bad shit.....someone i trusted and cared for was cheating on me while telling me he loved me, sleeping with me and ano...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 04:46:00 PST

much better........

i just took a 160 pound shit, and i feel a fuck of a lot better.....has anyone else ever experienced this great feeling????? hahahahahaha.....rock out with your cock out!!!:)
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 05:48:00 PST

anger

i am so damn pissed i want to go towards the first living thing i see....AND KILL IT!!!!!!!!!!  
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 03:48:00 PST

.......fear.....

sometimes i feel like my life is war.  just one thing after another, one obstacle overcome, and 15 more to take their place, the burdens i face, some of my own making, some placed on me from wit...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Sun, 19 Aug 2007 01:19:00 PST

...this is what i want!!!!!

...if anyone listens to eighteen visions....there is a line from one of their songs which is the single most romantic and compelling thing i have ever heard.........what it says is:"i'll drink the blo...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 12:00:00 PST

Disassociation

All offered geared to deceiveA lie so easily purchasedWanted so muchHalf the skeptic-Disavowing what is for saleSecretly the romantic-Yearning for deceptionTo transform into substanceWhat is known of ...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 06:46:00 PST

TATTOO'ING THE FUCKING WORLD....ONE PERSON AT A TIME!!!!

 EVERYONE NEEDS TO GET A TATTOO IMMEDIATELY BEFORE YOU GET COOTIES.....CAUSE YES, I CAN GIVE YOU COOTIES WITH MY MIND!!!!!!!  SO GET A GODDAMN TATTOO!!!! IT WILL MAKE YOU COOLER THAN GEORGE ...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:50:00 PST

Into the Skin

Violence at a forming ageFirst yields startled tearing of heartRepeated sufferings paradoxicallyCause a distancing from hurtBut separate the soul from normalityBirth a sense of amputationOne stands, a...
Posted by *GQ* valkyrie on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 04:07:00 PST