Interviewer: So if someone were to run into you around town, where would you be?
Steve: Are you asking where I hang out?
Interviewer: Leave the phrasing of the questions to me.
Steve: Sorry. I have a few places I like to go, one of my favorite bars is Surly Girl in the short north.
Interviewer: That place is kinda hip, maybe a little to hip for you.
Steve: Hey, I can be hip; I go to concerts and stuff…
Interviewer: Oh yeah? What was the last concert you went to?
Steve: I went to see Rancid at the Newport.
Interviewer: (laughing) Shut the fuck up, you went to see Rancid?
Steve: Yeah, it was actually pretty fun.
Interviewer: So tell me, was it a long drive from 1993? (More laughing) Seriously, so what are you like a punk rocker or something?
Steve: No, no, I just wanted to go have some fun.
Interviewer: Right, so besides dive bars and punk rock shows, what else do you do?
Steve: I like to go for walks.
Interviewer: That’s lame. But where do you go?
Steve: I like to go just about anywhere. I usually carry a camera and look for subject matter for my paintings.
Interviewer: So you’re like a stalker then?
Steve: No, nothing like that.
Interviewer: No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. Tell me about your job.
Steve: I work for a website, we sell art and antiques.
Interviewer: Oh so your rich then.
Steve: Well, no actually.
Interviewer: To bad, that may have helped you with getting a date. I hear women like guys with money.
Steve: I do okay I guess.
Interviewer: So what are we talking, 6 figures?
Steve: God no, I wish.
Interviewer: So then you’re poor.
Steve: Um…
I'd like to meet:
Interviewer: So you say you’re here to date, what kind of gal are you looking for?
Steve: That’s hard, I’m a generalist so I don’t have a lot of expectations…
Interviewer: (Interrupting) That’s good, you can’t really afford to.
Steve: Well yes, but I suppose if I were to generalize I would like to meet someone artistic and intelligent. Maybe someone with a little moxie…
Interviewer: I suppose you want her to be hot too, and rich…
Steve: Uh, that would be nice I guess.
Interviewer: So besides your above set or ridiculous expectations, is there any thing else?
Steve: I would like her to be funny.
Interviewer: Your not serious.
Steve: Well…
Interviewer: Okay, okay, no need to waste any more time on your fantasy world.
Steve: Fine
Music:
Interviewer: So what music would be found on your iPod.
Steve: I like indie rock mostly.
Interviewer: Okay then, give me a few bands.
Steve: Well, The Arcade Fire, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Mission of Burma, The Walkmen. Neutral Milk Hotel
Interviewer: That last one sounds made up. Now are you just spouting a bunch of band names that sound cool, or do you actually listen to them.
Steve: I listen to them all, I love music. It’s hard to keep up with all the new stuff that is coming out.
Movies:
Interviewer: How about the cinema, what was the last movie you went to see?
Steve: (Short pause) Actually, it was “The Gooniesâ€
Interviewer: Does it ever occur to you that you should lie about things like that? I mean you realize that is a kids movie fro the 80s right?
Steve: A friend of mine wanted to go, she and her friend were babysitting.
Interviewer: Okay, I will give you credit for the fact that you were on a date.
Steve: Well, they were both married so it wasn’t really a date.
Interviewer: (Coughing while calling Steve a looser)
Books:
Interviewer: So do you know how to read?
Steve: Yes.
Interviewer: So have you read any good books.
Steve: I read “The Divinci Codeâ€
Interviewer: Yeah, you and half the country. Way to be different.
Steve: I also read a book called “Surviver†but Chuck Palahniuk, Very good book.
Interviewer: Didn’t he write “Fight Club.â€
Steve: He did.
Interviewer: (Shouting) The first rule of fight club is you don’t talk about fight club!
(Interviewer punches Steve in the arm)
Steve: Sorry, I forgot.
Heroes:
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