10909141

I'm trying to get my life back on track after getting discharged from the Marine Corps. I did the "Commando" thing now I have to work my way down the list of childhood dream jobs. I think next I'll be a cow boy or a space man. I decided to embrace my creative side. I'm working on a novel. I also make replicas of Midvale armor.Despite my violent hatred of Officers, the military industrial complex, and corrupt government, I'm fascinated by Knights, Romans, and the Vietnam War. My novel is sort of a satirical slant on the war on terror, as well as the whole super hero/Action/drama genera.Random Quotes from me... *Procrastination only pays off if you're suicidal.*my outlook on life my be negative, but at least its accurate.*I'm a non-practicing atheist, a hetro curious Asexual, and a militant pacifist.*Celibate people don't give a fuck.*If I had a nickle for every time I meet someone I thought was intelegent, I could celibrate with a cup of raman noodles.*If Elton John married Rosie Odonnald, technicaly it would be a gay marrage, yet still legal.*I'm the editor and chief of a Magazine for Closeted homosexual men, It's called "Boobs and Sports Monthly"*A perfect 10 is just an 8 that's had allot of work done and spent 4 hours in hair and make up before the pictures where air brushed.*Sometimes when I feel sad, I just remeber that most of the girls who wouldn't date me in high school are either fat, knocked up, or Gay.*When I feel worried about stuff, I just think of the time I fell out of a helocopter. Then I don't feel as bad.*A persons fear of something is inversly proportional to the threat it actualy poses to them. Case and point, killer diseases, insects, and Arabs Vs. Transfats, carcinogens, and attractive people with mental problems.*Jesus was a liberal, but god was a right wing psycho.*The fashion industry pulls off the biggest scam in the world. Gay men convince strait women that they need to spend a fortune on expensive cloths in order to get laid. This is complete bullshit. Look at Africa, Asia, or South America. Billions of people fucking, not a single designer clothing store for thousands of miles.*The thing I never understood was why do fat ugly women bother with fancy hair and make up? Do they think they're fooling anyone? How can you spend two hours a day on makeup but not 30 minuets on a treadmill?*My dream is that one day I'll get a friend request from a pretty girl who isn't a Russian cyber prostitute*why do myspace adds think I'm gay?*when ever i see an add or hear an infomercial for some magical hair loss suplament or a wonder pill that adds several inches to youre penis, I know that some where, far away or down the street, a sad, pathetic man who failed 6th grade science class just blew $49.95 plus S&H.-I have a little Girl. I used to have a little boy too, but unfortunately his mom paid the ransom so I had to let Him go home.-How many Italians does it take to knit a wool sweater? only one if he's harry enough.-What do you say when you kick an elephant in the balls? "Ow, I should have stretched my hamstrings"-what do you say when an elephant kicks you in the balls? "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh...thud!"-once I walked into the bathroom, and there was my dad standing in front of the sink with his pants around his ankles, hand on his junk, shooting a load all over the mirror...With horrified looks on our faces we stared each other in the face for what seemed like hours until I decided to play it cool like nothing happened, so I slowly open my mouth and say "Ummm...dad? the waitress says our table is ready..."-I got fired from my last job for inappropriate behavior. The boss walked in on me doing it doggy style with a customer. he starred me right in the eye and said "WHAT KIND OF RETIREMENT HOME DO YOU THINK WE'RE RUNNING HERE!" The old lady looks back at him and says "The best Fucking Retirement home in the world!"-Once I was having sex with a chick and she says "ooooh talk dirty to me!" And I'm thinking ok, what do I say? Fuck it, I'll just say things I think are sexy "Oh, you so fucking hot...yeah ram it in there stud! stick you big black cocks in both of my fuck holes!"-Officer, I swear that turkish black tar heroin is for medicional purposes only!-Looking at an election ballot is like walking through a prision shower, because deep down I'm thinking "ok, which one of these guys is going to try to ass rape me?"-One in three Americans is retarded or crazy. If it seems more like 2 thirds you're probably one of them.*I’m not celibate, but the women I date are…