CherNobyl&hearts

What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely
remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to
spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when
you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie
when you were lonely but didn't feel like going
out, or even sit there and hold you while you
sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy
that you were fucking treated you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about
how he was a little puppy dog, always following
you around, trying to do things to get you to pay
attention to him. They probably teased you because they
thought he had a crush on you. Given that his
behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently
denied having any romantic feelings for him,
and buttressed your position by claiming that you
were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your
type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too
bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how
to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the
things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich,
stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your
relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and
spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a
little weird, if you werent dating him. More time
passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or
became boring, or you realized that the things that
attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make
for a good, long-term relationship. So, now,
you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene
for several months having only encountered
players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all
the nice guys?"
Well, once again, you did.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional
intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical
intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his
devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than
the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the
hint and moved on with his life. He probably came
to realize, one day, that women aren't really
attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners
just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you
mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five
months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when
you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman
like you, he'd have to act more like the
boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his
look, started making some money, and generally acted
like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way,
your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And
I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of
"nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you
missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have
a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives,
if that.
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't
really want a nice guy, but you feel the social
pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your
infantile taste in men. In which case, you might
be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to
want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out
there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment
onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or
own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over.
You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise
the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a
nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want
you, now.
Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
just ask [email protected] !!
...and it was about that time that I noticed that the girl scout was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleolithic era!

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