Jennifer

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WATER & WINE EDUCATION
It has been scientifically proven that if we Drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the Year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces.
In other Words, we are consuming 1 kilo of shit!
However, we do not run that risk when Drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other Liquors) because alcohol has to go through a Distillation process of boiling, filtering, and Fermenting.
It is better to drink wine and talk shit ...
Than to drink water and be full of shit

Why we are in Iraq?

The other day, my nine-year-old son wanted to know why we were at war...My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation. My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window. He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"
"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses." he replied.
"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush." Our son giggled and said "OK!"
"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.
"OK Dad, I'm pretending."
"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death.
Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?"
"Dad?"
"What do you do son?"
"I'd call the police, Dad."
"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"
"Dad.......... but the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine
"They don't want to son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.
"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.
"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam, turn around and do the same thing to his children."
"Daddy...he kills them?"
"Yes son, he does. What do you do?"
"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him." our son says.
"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.
"But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!"
"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry.
"OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next son?"
"What Daddy?"
"He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"
"Daddy..."
"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, I'd close the blinds, Daddy."
My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him.
"Why?"
"Because Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who needs them and they won't help.... You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid.... I can't do it by myself Daddy! .....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.....do nothing...so... I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing....... and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."
I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says...
"Son"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Open the blinds because that man.... he's at your front door... "WHAT DO YOU DO?"
My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says: "I DEFEND MY FAMILY DAD!! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SIST ER, DAD!!! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!"
I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says... "It's too late to fight him, he's too strong and he' s already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way.
You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before it's too late." my husband whispers. THAT scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen, Son, THAT is because the greatest atrocities in the world won't affect him.
"YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT! EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!" BE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! BE PROUD OF OUR TROOPS!! SUPPORT THEM!!! SUPPORT AMERICA SO THAT IN THE FUTURE OUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CLOSE THEIR BLINDS..."
This should be printed in every newspaper an d posted in every school in America. Of course that won't happen so we'll use the internet. If your blinds are closed do nothing with this email. If they are open I do not need to tell you what to do..
GOD BLESS !!!!!!!!!!
Steven R Chandler, CMSgt
332 ELRS/Vehicle Management Flight
Balad Air Base, Iraq

TOP 8 MORONS1 . WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

HOW TO INSTALL A RED NECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used sized 14-16 work boots.2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.3. Put a few giant-sized dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.4. Leave a note on your door that reads:Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke, Slim and Me went for more ammunition. Back in about an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways, I locked all four of em in the house. Better wait in your truck till I get back.

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Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don’t have any," she replied, smiling sweetly. "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," she replied. "Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?" The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the Congregation, and said: "I outlived the bitches."
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10 Truths Black and Hispanic people know .....but White people wont admit

1. Elvis is dead. 2. Jesus was not white. 3. Rap music is here to stay. 4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. 5. Skinny does not equal sexy. 6. Thomas Jefferson had black children. 7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller. 8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5 9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line. 10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 Truths White and Black People know but......Hispanic people wont admit

1. Hickeys are not attractive. 2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate. 3. Jesus is not a name for your son. (JESUS' real name was Yeshua --so it's okay) 4. Your country flag is not a car decoration. 5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter. 6. 10 people to a car is considered too many. 7. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies. 8. Buttoning just one button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement. 9. Mami & Papi cant possibly be the nickname of every person in your family. 10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 Truths white and Hispanic people know but .....Black people wont admit

1. O.J. did it. 2. Tupac is dead. 3. Teeth shouldn't be decorated. 4. Weddings should start on time. 5. Your pastor doesn't know everything. 6. Jesse Jackson will never be President. 7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, its a color. 8. Church does not require expensive clothes. 9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away. 10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

And that's the truth!

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Three men were sitting in a bar talking about how whipped they had their wives.
The first two kept bragging about how they could get their wives to do anything.
They looked at the third man and he said, "I have my wife so whipped that the other day I had her crawling towards me on her hands and knees."
Both of the other men were very impressed and asked him how he had managed that.
The man replied,"Well, I was laying under the bed and she crawled over and said, "Come out and fight like a man!".