Throughout my childhood I sang songs, often as an escape for the hardships I endured. My parents divorced when I was very young. My siblings and I lived with our mother, who moved us frequently, was in and out of relationships, and struggled with mental health and substance abuse problems. It was a difficult and painful time. Perhaps that is why I have had a fragile and sensitive heart for people. I hurt for the lost souls, for the broken children of God that have been robbed for so long. I have had dreams since I was a child about how I could change this way of the world. Could I? Being one person? Having only one voice?
Since a child, like many of us, I had dreams of being a hero and making an impact somehow. So I continued on…prom queen, homecoming queen...competing in a reality show, "Nashville Star†and other contests. All of those worldly, so-called, "awards and prizes" gave me only temporary satisfaction. There were endless nights I would ask the Lord, "Why do I not want anything to do with this place?†I cried out, feeling sick to my stomach for the lost souls...for my own soul, because I didn't know why I was chosen to have such a hardship on my life growing up. I struggled to get anything done in school, or anywhere, because my mind was constantly focused upon those who hurt because of their robbed childhoods, who walked alone in the hallways. I felt as if every single person, not only in my family, but in the world, who felt pain, somehow passed it on to me to carry with them. At the age of 19, I hit the ground and pleaded for God’s mercy to take away the sins of my life and wounds from my childhood.
Soon after, I found out that I would have to have surgery on my vocal cords, and lose my ability to sing and to speak for months. The one thing I knew to be my identity, my voice, was gone before I could begin to think of my next step. Except now I had hope...now I had the love of Jesus in my heart. During that time, my friends piled into their stocked Grand Prix's to dive into the college-scene stage of life, the stage that I was supposed to be a part of. I was supposed to be "famous". Instead the Lord held me captive, and I hid beneath his rock as he taught me, and healed me. I felt Gods love, and peace came over my heart; the kind of peace that comes when a baby is being rocked in its mother’s arms for the first time. We all search for truth, through education, through politics, through worldly successes, but when you find success in Jesus, there is not only truth, there is PEACE!
Now the Lord has brought me to Nashville, Tennessee, to make a difference in the way music has changed.. and I am becoming more in love with Christ than ever before! God Bless you!
