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-I don't remember what it's like not to need a cigarette
-I've never had less than a full head of hair
-I'm alert and oblivious, which some would call stupidity
-I can't decide day to day whether I'm a recluse or an extrovert
-I piss wherever I am. The only thing that makes me throw up is watching other people throw up
-I can't keep my clothes on
-I don't agree with my friends' opinions more than half of the time, but I'd rather have friends with opinions than acquaintances with Akon albums
-My name is on UrbanDictionary.com
-I don't understand 75% of life because my thoughts are consumed by the other 25%
-I've been described as a horny asshole
-Homophobia annoys me, racism does just as much
-Fall is my favorite season; I don't believe in God
-I don't pour out every thought in my mind pertaining to life and love to anyone within three feet of me, but it doesn't mean I'm one dimensional, it means I'm not desperate
-I can't stand loud-mouths who think they know it all or whiny people who think they are introspective and thoughtful
-Anyone who needs a boyfriend or girlfriend all the time paints a picture of themselves as pathetic and boring
-You aren't entitled to anything you haven't earned
-Someone once stole my myspace "About Me" section, I got pissed, but then I laughed and just changed mine
-I'm not a really friendly guy, but I have a pretty good sense of humor. If you wanna know anything just ask, chances are I'll answer you for some odd reason.
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
-Richard Dawkins
"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."
-Carl Sagan
“The civilized man has a moral obligation to be skeptical. . . . Any man who for one moment abandons or suspends the questioning spirit has for that moment betrayed humanity.â€
–Bergen Evens
"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy."
-David Brooks
"I have little confidence in any enterprise or business or investment that promises dividends only after the death of the stockholders."
-Robert Ingersoll
"Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?"
-Mark Twain
"Imagine the ego of the human race, to consider themselves so grand, as to warrant a creator worthy of praise."
-Robert Brunswick Jr.
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect, had intended for us to forgo their use."
-Galileo Galilei
"I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other gods you will understand why I dismiss yours."
-Stephen F. Roberts
"The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own."
-Frank Zappa
“George Bush says he speaks to god every day, and Christians love him for it. If George Bush said he spoke to god through his hair dryer, they would think he was mad. I fail to see how the addition of a hair dryer makes it any more absurd.â€
-Sam Harris
(In response to evangelicals asking questions of presidential candidates who were not in attendance during a debate) "It must be hard for evangelicals to ask questions into a void-- just to wait in vain for an answer that will never come."
Jon Stewart
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