Craig

In the interest of keeping this page alive I thought I would update the info with some raw honesty:
I moved myself to Hawaii in June '08 from "Vegas" where I lived and worked for 14 years. Prior to that I served in the US Navy for 6 years and then before that I was just a boy with dreams and many misconceptions of what the world was like, raised by my parents in Oklahoma. Back then my life was school and scouting; hell I was even an Eagle Scout! Go figure. **Strange how I went backward there I know**
What do I do for a living? Well with the economy what it is, I pretty much do whatever... but I am a Microsoft certified Systems Engineer. Currently I am focusing on Sales and Sales engineering and do outsourced IT type work. For those that don't know what that is ... it's probably just going to bore the shit out of ya so just suffice it to say that I work with computers. Computers are not now and never were a part of "the dream"... I guess in the beginning I wanted to be an Architect, that was my first love. Design, light, space, textures and contour ... all of it. I still love it, but it's more of an appreciation now. I love science, particularly Biology ... and I am currently working on a Biology degree and one day I plan to finish the PhD. All of that could change between now and then but that's where I am.
However a job / career isn't what defines me ... its not who I am, its what I do. What I do should not be confused with actions ... since actions define people (ok starting to get too deep, sorry). Who / what I am is a far more difficult question to answer and for all my years I still cannot answer that question fully.
I love to laugh, I love to sense beauty (all of it), I love peace, I love love, I love truth (even when it hurts), I love to think, I find people who think deeply to be VERY sexy. I fall in love easily, or think I do... I have a difficult time discerning love from infatuation / lust. I tend to fall in head first only to land on my head ... but sometimes it doesn't hurt and that makes it worth while. I am a fool but only because its fun. I want to be a part of everything but I don't want to be the center of attention. I desire to be appreciated and needed but tend to shy away from too much praise or adoration; I think it makes me uncomfortable. I love to dream!
I try not to judge, but find that sometimes I do anyway. I do not like this about myself and so its a work in progress. I do not wish to be perfect and am very suspicious of those who appear to be. I do not need to tear others down to lift myself up. I do not have many people that I would call "close friends" ... mostly because I do not know many people with whom I can identify and trust to be real. I wish I knew more, but not too many more.
I am always looking for my soul mate ... I know that he is out there, I can feel it. My greatest fear is that I have met him or will meet him ... and we will pass without connecting. My soul aches for him and sometimes it hurts.
What more can I say? ... that's how I feel.
..NEVER FORGET!!!
.. Matthew Shepard - Born 12/1/76; Murdered 10/12/98 (Age 21)
Support the immediate creation of federal hate crime legislation! Do NOT lie down or go away quietly ... demand change now! Matthew and countless other victims deserve nothing less.
Click here to visit my BLOG entry which contains a link to an article that I think everyone should read! Please... ..