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wattsie

If you can't be good, be good at it!!!

About Me

Best way to describe me is just a average thirty three year old that refuses to grow up. I don't take too much seriously, I have my ups and downs like everyone else but pretty much just lovin life. I live on the northern beaches in Sydney with the normal screwed up mates that can't keep still for one minute. Love my family even though there spread out all over the world. I dig My job because it enables me to go surfing a lot. If ya want to know anything about me just ask... So yeah all gooooooooooood.

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I edited my profile at Freeweblayouts.net , check out these Myspace Layouts!

Television:



Books:

The Radical Rodents - The Worlds Smallest Surfers

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Heroes:

All the Australian surfers ranked in the ASP world surfing tour "go aussie". Cassey Stoner GP bikes. Anyone who give's there own time once in a while to a good cause. And my mum for putting up with all my shit....
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POQbum.com

Rules of taking a dump at work.As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK turd is inevitable. For those who hate taking a crap at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.CROP DUSTING -- When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.?FLY BY -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.ESCAPEE -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.JAILBREAK -- When forcing a shit, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.COURTESY FLUSH -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the turd hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.WALK OF SHAME -- Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts,it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.OUT OF THE CLOSET SHITTER -- A colleague who shits at work and is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Shitter enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Shitter before entering the bathroom.THE CRAPPING FRIENDS NETWORK (C.F.N) -- A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency shits goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet shitter, and identify SAFE HAVENS.SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite gender . This will reduce the odds of a crapper of your gender entering the bathroom.WATERMELON -- A shit that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the shitter can crap in peace.CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to shit when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.