I was born into a life of slavery, picking rice in the paddy fields of south east China, when at the tender age of seven I made my escape in the back of a rice wagon disguised as a rotting dog carcass. My journey as an illegal immigrant ended when my ship docked in South Wales. There I lived for several years enjoying the hospitality of the locals and learning of the intimacies that can be had with sheep. During my years in Wales I heard tales of a spiritual high ground where all men are equal and it rains Um-bongo. I saved the money I earnt painting phone boxes and eventually bought my bus ticket to Bishop Wilton. Here I settled for a few years before I began a pilgrimage to find a shop that still sells 'Lucky Charms'. So far my journey has taken me to many exotic locations such as Pocklington and Goole, but for the time being I decided to settle in Market Weighton, a small town in East Yorkshire where the streets are paved with gold and the streams run clear and fresh with the finest cream soda. After having thoroughly exhausted the local supply of cream soda and Cheshire cheese I decided to put my time spent in Market Weighton to good use. I decided to introduce the locals to modern technology such as 'The Wheel' and 'Fire', however this did not go down well. After much deliberation the locals agreed that I must be a witch or warlock of some kind and chased me out of the town with a pack of dogs, threatening to burn me at the stake. I needed somewhere to lay low for a couple of years, somewhere quiet and out of the way. Bishop Wilton, I decided to return to the idyllic village from whence I came. Upon arriving here though, I have found it is no longer peaceful and serene, but is now little more than a ghetto, overrun with drug dealers, pimps and prostitutes. The area is rife with gangland turf wars and drive by shootings are a daily occurence. It may take time but I will bring peace back to this once beautiful village, until then Bishop Wilton shall remain the nerve centre for all Khoo related activity.....
The saga continues......
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