lovey_dovey

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.--------------------------------------------------Signs You are Now a Grown-up: · Your potted plants stay alive. · You keep more food than beer in the fridge. · You hear your favorite song on an elevator - and sing along. · You watch the Weather Channel. · MTV News is no longer your primary source for information. · A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'. · You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. · You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. · You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. · Your back goes out more than you do. · Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. · People send you this list! · You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you. ----------------------------------------------------------- Words of Wisdom:The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And then you die. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards.Myspace Codes: MyNiceSpace.comYou should die first and get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You have fun and party like teens.You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating...Then, you finish off as an orgasm. I like it!"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." -- Albert Schweitzer