"Like a mindless hawk swooping on dead babies."
That's how I interweb-warrior-legend and lady guru, Doogie Talons, view my relationship with the internet.
"I am the ruler of the web thingy and making virtual stuff appear on the screens of all PC slaves is what I do breast. That is my strong point. That is the gift baby Jesus gave me in the heavens. However, when it comes to my interpersonal skills I'm an idiot with big hair and clammy hands."
This frank confession (from an exclusive interview for "Tennis Elbow Magazine") hides the fact that I am a trained serial killer with 2,408 dead people mashed up to my credit. I am also a top lust bucket, with 14,002 bitches licking my eyes. When I'm not killing, loving or webbing it up big style; I like to curl up into a naked ball in a room and cut my arms with knives. The soundtrack to this self harming event is always dub.
I trained at the school of life where I met Guy Gooberman in the refectory smoking a crack bong the size of a house. We cried and celebrated by spazzing our minds up. I Doogie Talons am not to be mocked or laughed at but petted like a shaggy dog story just come in from the rain.
My website is Lunch Break